


home.

by mixtape1



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:54:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 36,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24236107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mixtape1/pseuds/mixtape1
Summary: To Wonwoo, Mingyu is...(or. the one where mingyu slowly changes from nothing to everything, in wonwoo's eyes.)
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu
Comments: 47
Kudos: 111





	1. bright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> first meetings, second meetings, subsequent meetings.

He is light, and the first time Wonwoo comes face to face with him is when they’re showered in complete darkness, courtesy of the sun that’s set and dodgy street lamps. 

When they make eye contact, it’s like a magnitude of colours are splashed onto Wonwoo’s dull world. There’s also how, the lights that were supposed to be on at 7pm sharp choose that moment to flicker alive. 

They’re seventeen minutes late, and Wonwoo flinches, because _holy shit_. Mingyu (he didn’t know his name at that time) is _handsome_ and the lights illuminating his face seem to showcase his beauty perfectly. 

The scene is like something straight out of a movie, because there is no way the lights decided to turn on at the exact moment he looks up to see who’s talking to him. 

“Oh! Are you alive now?” The stranger who had disrupted his peaceful ‘nap’ in the playground asks, and Wonwoo can’t get over how fast his heart is beating against his chest. 

What the hell is going on. 

“Sorry if I woke you up with my scream…” He continues, sheepishly. 

Wonwoo vaguely remembers hearing a shrill sound that might be the reason why he’s currently sitting on the ground.

He has to stop coming here to think when all it leads to is him zoning out. 

But you can’t really blame him, the weather is wonderful after the rain - it’s Wonwoo’s favourite time to go outside. Even if he gets cold easily, nothing beats the breeze the rain leaves. 

The stranger is staring at him by now, and Wonwoo remembers he has to reply.

“Um…” Ever coherent after waking up, he struggles to respond. “It’s okay?” 

Laughing, the stranger huffs - almost fondly, and rises to full height. He had been squatting previously, probably to check on him. 

So aside from being related to a star, the stranger is also a tree. 

Or maybe he’s like the star on top of Christmas trees, which is why he’s so tall and Wonwoo has no idea what’s going on in his head. 

“Well, that’s good then! I’m glad you’re awake, you should head home to sleep instead of out here.” The stranger carries the conversation one-sidedly. “I have to go now, my roommate is going to kill me for letting the food get so cold. See you around!” 

At first, Wonwoo thinks he’s going to walk away without saying anything else, but he turns right at the entrance of the playground and waves. 

And then he _smiles_. 

Wonwoo almost trips on air when he stands because damn. He’s never seen someone exude such warmth - like a burst of fire. 

He makes a noise at the back of his throat as he tries to maintain eye contact. 

Unsure of stranger etiquette, he simply waves back, doesn’t smile and heads in the opposite direction once he’s certain the guy is far away enough. 

The street lights can’t compare to the way the mystery boy lit up the entire place with his smile alone. 

* * *

The next time Wonwoo runs into the handsome stranger, he’s in the convenience store debating between melon and strawberry milk. 

Picking the small pink carton, he reads the nutritional facts even though he knows he doesn’t actually care. 

It looks better than glaring uselessly at two tiny bottles. 

“You should get the melon one.” 

Wonwoo nearly drops the bottle he’s holding in shock. 

Turning around, he removes his earphones at the same time because it’s rude to talk to people with them on, and gets the second surprise of the night. 

It’s the guy from the playground. 

“Sorry, you looked so stressed deciding, I had to say something.” He’s grinning, not in the mocking way Wonwoo’s used to seeing but genuine. 

At a loss for words, Wonwoo simply grabs onto the melon bottle instead and puts the strawberry milk back in its place. 

“Thanks.” 

“You’re welcome!” 

This guy is _bright_. His eyes light up when he talks and Wonwoo doesn’t know what to describe this feeling as. 

No one he’s met has such a striking personality. And face. 

If he bothered, Wonwoo could probably become friends with him. But he doesn’t, and after filing this and the playground incident as things that’ll never happen again, he walks off to the cashier.

Putting his earphones back on after paying, he pokes the straw through the cover and sips on his drink. 

With his free hand stuffed into his pocket, Wonwoo makes the walk home, only to stop in his tracks at the sound of someone yelling. 

And then he realizes the person yelling is running after him. 

It’s playground boy and his hair is ruffled from the exercise. “Wait! I didn’t get to introduce myself!” 

Wonwoo raises an eyebrow at that, taking off one side this time, hoping the conversation isn’t going to take all night.

Now that he’s gotten over his initial shock of seeing someone so attractive twice, Wonwoo just wants to head home without any more interruptions. 

He had taken a break from his assignment because he was craving milk and slowly losing his mind at the thought of school. 

Escapism? Maybe. Procrastination? Definitely. 

“My name is Kim Mingyu, nice to meet you!” He completely ignores Wonwoo’s unfriendly look and extends an arm out for a handshake.

He also has that smile on again, illuminating the dark path with his canine teeth and sparkly eyes. Wonwoo had no idea the street lamps were _this_ faulty. 

Also, is it normal for people to introduce themselves to strangers? Sure, they’ve met twice now but it’s nothing. They have no connection at all, why is this guy talking to him? 

“Uh.” Wonwoo replies, staring at the hand. Shifting on his feet, he wonders if the gesture is enough for the guy to interpret his unwelcoming body language. 

“What’s your name?” 

“ _Uh_ ,” He says again, this time with more force. There cannot be someone who’s this oblivious to social cues. 

Just because he’s shining like some kind of superstar doesn’t mean he gets to ignore everything else around him. 

Tilting his head to the side, Wonwoo watches the guy’s eyebrows furrow. “Your name is ‘Uh’?” 

He must be joking.

“No.” 

“You spoke!” The frown is immediately replaced by _pure joy_ and Wonwoo is not only confused, he is also worried. 

For himself. Why isn’t this person letting him go? 

“Why are you talking to me?” He decides to ask, if he sounds rude then so be it.

Time is _ticking_ , his essay is due at 2359.

Maybe the small bottle of milk wasn’t worth it after all. Maybe he shouldn’t have spent thirty minutes in front of the display fridge. 

“Oh,” his arm stutters - if that’s possible, and falls to his side. “I.. I don’t know?” 

Great. Now he’s made this guy upset. 

Wonwoo is not a dog person. Never. 

So it manages to put him off even more when he pouts, and makes himself look tiny. He resembles an abandoned puppy. 

This guy - wait, he’d said his name didn’t he? Mingyu, that’s right. 

Mingyu is tall, taller than him, yet he shrinks in on himself so much he’s almost half of Wonwoo’s height now.

“Sorry… was I bothering you?” Mingyu speaks up again, in a quieter voice this time and stares at the ground so all Wonwoo can see is the top of his head. 

Wonwoo may be emotionally constipated, but he knows how to be nice to people. Especially those who haven’t necessarily done anything _wrong_. 

Which is why he sighs, takes out the other earbud and hangs the cord around his neck. 

“Um… Mingyu, was it?” He says, figuring out what his next course of action should be now that he’s gotten Mingyu’s attention again. He hasn’t thought that far, it was impulse that drove him to say anything that wasn’t ‘uh’. 

Mingyu nods so vigorously, Wonwoo is afraid his head is gonna pop off. 

“Okay, look, Mingyu,” Taking a deep breath, he purposely avoids Mingyu’s face and those damn puppy eyes that are starting to shine again and threads carefully, “I’m not interested in making any new friends, and I don’t even know you. Sorry, but I’m not the one you’re looking for if it’s a friendship you want.” 

Was that too harsh? He hopes not, Wonwoo isn’t sure what he’s going to do if Mingyu starts crying. 

“What if,” Wonwoo steadies his feet, getting ready to bolt. “What if… What if I told you more about myself?” 

What. 

Feeling his eyebrows furrow at Mingyu’s unexpected response, he vocalizes that exact thought, “what?” 

“I go to the university close by - Pledis, I major in Visual Communications and I like dogs. My favourite colour is black but I love rainbows. I take pictures of them too and other things I like. My birthday is on the sixth of April, and people tell me I wear my heart on my sleeve - I don’t believe them though. Is there anything else you need to know so we can become friends?” 

Wonwoo has to stop himself from letting out an impressed whistle. Mingyu is really persistent in wanting to be friends. Maybe he doesn’t have any? That can’t be true, he just mentioned them. 

Well, now Wonwoo can’t run for his life - that’d be rude. And Mingyu doesn’t seem to be kidding. 

But… he’s wary - of course he is. Is it normal to just ask a stranger whom you’ve only seen _once_ to be more than that? Wonwoo could never. 

“Why me?” Before he has time to continue processing the situation, his mouth moves on its own, repeating the same thing he’d asked previously.

Even Mingyu looks surprised by the fact that he’s continuing the conversation. 

Wonwoo waits, unsure of where he finds the patience to stand there while Mingyu runs a hand through his hair, visibly thinking hard.

At this point, any answer that isn’t _I don’t know_ will satisfy Wonwoo’s curiosity so he can go back and finish his dreaded assignment. 

“Because… because you look like someone who enjoys the weather after the rain!” Mingyu eventually blurts out, so hastily that even a preschooler would know it’s bullshit. 

Although it may have been an excuse he came up with on the spot, Wonwoo is a little surprised he got it right. 

“So?” 

“So-” Mingyu begins again, taking his time to inhale before relaxing once he’s made up a random reason in his head. He’s terribly easy to read. “Why don’t you accompany me on my walks? I always go outside after it rains.” 

At this point, Wonwoo just wants to go home. Without properly thinking his answer through, he agrees. 

“Wait, really?” Mingyu exclaims, nearly loud enough to wake up the whole neighborhood. 

His eyes do this thing- where they _twinkle_ and Wonwoo presses his lips into a thin line. 

“Yes, can I go now?” 

Scrambling to pull out his phone, Wonwoo watches as Mingyu quickly unlocks his phone with his pin as it refuses to recognize his face. 

(If Wonwoo finds it funny - the way Mingyu groans in frustration at the device that looks small in his hands, no one but him will know.) 

“Here, you can put in your number.” He passes the phone to Wonwoo and again, because his brain has shut down at this point with fear of not being able to submit his assignment on time, he keys it in with no further questions. “I’ll message you the next time it rains, we can meet at the playground!” 

“Sure, whatever. Can I leave now?” 

Once he’s retrieved his phone, Mingyu steps back and _beams_. Wonwoo squints on instinct, as if he doesn’t have his glasses on. 

He might need sunglasses instead.

“Thank you! See you soon… Wonwoo!” He reads the name Wonwoo put in his phone and smiles softly. 

He’s so obviously happy about this, Wonwoo muses. Nobody has been this elated to receive his number. 

(Nobody's really asked anyway.) 

Wonwoo grabs his earphones, a sign he’s ready to leave. Actions don’t work on Mingyu though, so he declares his departure.

“Bye.” 

“Goodbye! Have a good night, Wonwoo.” Mingyu waves and he’s still smiling. Like a fool. Like a bright-eyed fool. 

As he walks home while drinking his forgotten milk, Wonwoo wonders when the last time he made a friend who wasn’t from school or introduced through Soonyoung was. 

He draws a blank. 

When he’s home, he immediately receives several messages.

**_unknown number_ **  
_hello! this is mingyu :-)  
i forgot to ask  
how old are you?  
text me when you’re back!_

True to his nature, Wonwoo leaves it unread and speeds through his assignment. 

By the time he’s done, he stretches and checks his phone, surprised to find more messages. 

**_unknown number_ **  
_are you okay???  
hello  
oh no  
am i annoying u :(  
is the number even legit  
omg_

Sighing, though he’s amused by the fact that Mingyu thought he’d put in a fake number, he starts typing. 

**_jeon wonwoo_ **  
_i’m home. i was working on my assignment.  
born in 1996_

For a second, he contemplates adding more, but decides against it. 

The response is immediate.

 ** _unknown number_**  
_you’re my hyung then!  
sorry for addressing you informally earlier!!  
and that’s good!  
don’t sleep too late hyung ^_^  
goodnight!!!_

_**wonwoo hyung** _  
_yeah, you too, mingyu.  
goodnight._

Before he heads to bed, after washing up, he decides to give Mingyu a contact name. 

**_Unknown number has been changed to Mingyu._ **

* * *

After becoming friends, there are many other instances which showcase just how Mingyu is akin to the sun, or the many stars in the sky - hidden away. 

The next most notable moment is when he sees Wonwoo in university, and it’s not really a one-time thing. It’d be more accurate to call them the next most notable _moments_ , plural. 

Every single time Mingyu sees him, be it from across the dining hall, long hallway or in the library, his entire face brightens up. 

It’s too much, sometimes. 

Over the course of weeks, Wonwoo learns to stop forcing his smile away when he sees how excited Mingyu is just to run into him. 

Over the course of weeks, Wonwoo learns so much about Mingyu that is both equally embarrassing and endearing. 

Over the course of weeks, Wonwoo struggles to keep his walls up, and at times it feels like the entrance to his well built cage is made of UV panels. 

Because Mingyu _radiates_ light, whenever they’re together and even when they’re not - Wonwoo always notices how there’s never a dull moment when he’s around. 

And Wonwoo? Who is he to deny the feeling of warmth, when he desperately needs it. 

A few weeks ago, he would’ve stepped back whenever Mingyu got too close. Lately he finds himself moving nearer. 

If anybody among their surprisingly shared friend group notices, they don’t bring it up, thankfully. 

Wonwoo can only handle so much, and being _aware_ of certain things he’d rather not think about is the reason why he can spare fleeting touches. 

A finger hooking around his pinkie, hands on his wrist - never knowing whether to slide down to meet his open palm, arm slung around his waist or shoulder, gentle fingers running through his hair - Wonwoo lets it happen, never once delving too deep into what the gestures could mean. 

They bring a fire in his heart, a burning sensation on his body and the places where he’d been touched but Wonwoo pretends everything is fine, that he has never reacted to any of Mingyu’s casual touches. 

It’s _nothing_ , it’s Mingyu - he loves affection, he loves taking care of people and being taken care of. That’s just how he shows his friendship. 

Wonwoo had the pleasure of discovering that fact a month after exchanging numbers and frequent (much to his own surprise) meetups after rainfall. After seeing the way Mingyu interacts with his closer friends, Wonwoo had felt a sense of calmness. 

He is nothing special and he’s okay with that. Rather, he feels a surge of fondness alongside the relief. 

Mingyu is bright, he is warm, he is a million stars and a fireball all at once.

(And Wonwoo knows going after something - _somebody_ , unreachable is pointless.) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this is super short but it'll get longer as the chapters go on !! ive written 7.5/10 chapters so hopefully updates won't take that long (or in the worse case scenario with my other fic; i drop it) !! if you gave this a chance, thank you and i hope you have a good day!
> 
> if you have the time, please give [this](https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co) carrd (on blm) and [this](https://junkterrorbill.carrd.co) carrd (on junk terror bill, ph) a read, do what you can - thank you.


	2. kind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> realizations... and more realizations.

He is the ideal man, Wonwoo realizes one day when he’s sitting with Mingyu in a cafe they’re now regulars at. 

The thought is not unprompted of course. It just becomes obvious, rising from the deepest parts of his muddled brain when he sees Mingyu abruptly stand to help a lady carrying a tray filled with cakes and a pot of tea. 

She swoons, hearts in her eyes as Mingyu gives one of his softer smiles after setting the tray down and nodding to her daughter. 

Wonwoo would never be able to get up and interact with someone like that, he could never handle the thought of being _seen_. 

Every single person in the small cafe - Shining Diamond, proceeds to look at him and he’s oblivious to their stares. Wonwoo wonders how Mingyu can’t feel the surge of affection for him when he’s managed to make close to twenty people fall for him. 

And it’s slightly infuriating, not in a bad way, because Mingyu is _sincere_. He was born and raised to be a kind soul. Yet he doesn’t realize how _good_ of a person he is. 

He returns to his assignment laid out in front of him and runs his fingers through his hair in stress. 

“I can’t believe the professor gave us one week to finish this group project! And my group doesn’t even want to meet until the day before.” Mingyu huffs, eyebrows furrowed.

See, Mingyu is kind - almost to a fault but he’s never wrong. 

Wonwoo hums, a sign that he’s listening. 

Sighing in defeat, he slumps, making himself seem smaller than he actually is for a six foot man. “But I get it? They’re all busy rushing other stuff, they’re doing their part on the Google Docs so I guess it’s fine…” He trails off, unsure.

Then he looks alarmed, eyes widening and Wonwoo leans forward, just a little. 

“It’s fine right? Hyung, we’re going to be okay right?”

Being one year his senior, though not in the same major, Wonwoo has had his fair share of experience with several group projects where the team doesn't wish to cooperate. 

If they’re putting shit down in their shared document then they must be better than Wonwoo's sorry excuse for group mates. 

Not that he hates them as people, they’re just horrible to work with. 

“You’ll be fine, don’t worry.” He tells Mingyu, one hundred percent serious. 

Despite being a little too nice at times, he knows when to take charge. 

Mingyu is what they call a natural leader, although he doesn’t see it at times (again, infuriating). And he has a natural following because of the way he leads. 

He is not pushy, he listens to others, he is accommodating, he takes in suggestions with an open mind and knows his way with words. 

Wonwoo lets out a little breath through his nose, Mingyu calls it a short laugh but he begs to differ. He’s just exhaling loudly. 

“Mingyu,” he begins again, because Mingyu looks unconvinced, brows still furrowed and his heart stutters while wondering what it’d be like to reach over and massage the area there. “I believe in you, you’ll do great.” 

Instead, he provides support through words of encouragement he knows Mingyu will take to heart. 

This time, his shoulders visibly relax and he lets out a loud sigh, the one he does when he’s getting ready to accomplish something. 

“Thanks hyung, you’re right. We can do it.” Mingyu whispers a word of encouragement to himself and Wonwoo doesn’t stop his mouth from arching up. 

His grin doesn’t slip past Mingyu, who had been the one who convinced him to stop hiding his smiles because apparently, "they’re nice to look at.'' 

Wonwoo may have stopped masking his expressions, but he’s definitely not going to stop forcing his blush away whenever Mingyu decides to be well - _Mingyu_. 

“Has anyone ever mentioned how nice you are, hyung?” 

Immediately, he bites his bottom lip because, shit, he has to quit throwing so many sudden attacks at him.

“W-What?” He ends up stuttering like the fool Jeon Wonwoo is and if he slides down his chair so he can hide his face behind his laptop then let him be. 

“I said- What the- _hey_!” 

Mingyu’s knee jerks against their small table and Wonwoo laughs, the one where he completely lets loose and it's ten times better than whatever feeling he had seconds before. 

“You just hit me! With your foot! What the hell?” Mingyu splutters, shock all over his face and Wonwoo’s stomach hurts from how funny it is. 

Pouting, Mingyu retracts his earlier statement, “You’re not nice at all.” 

Wonwoo snorts, sitting back upright on his chair since he feels safe now and gives a smile Soonyoung would call _cheeky_. 

Which it’s not, because he isn’t a child. 

_I’m not the nice one_ , Wonwoo wants to say once they’ve quieted down at the glare from the manager. _You are_. 

* * *

Not only is Mingyu the ideal man, he is also good with kids.

They’re walking home together when it happens. 

He doesn’t know when it’d become a _thing_ for them to go home together on days their last classes end at the same time but Wonwoo - unlike what he had previously thought, isn’t that bothered by this arrangement. 

When the playground makes its way into their line of sight, both of them slow down and Wonwoo lets a small smile loose. Even on particularly sunny days like the present, they’ve made it a point to stop by the playground for at least five minutes. 

Though half of the time they stay for much longer than that, mindlessly chatting about their day and random things. Wonwoo has learnt so much about Mingyu and it’s only been a few months. 

Somehow, Mingyu makes it easy for him to just sit there and listen. And it’s not words that pass by only to be forgotten either, since Wonwoo ends up retaining every little thing Mingyu says. 

Usually, they’d sit on the swings and talk but today, there’s someone on the set Mingyu has claimed as his so they stop and stare at the kid kicking dirt under his feet. 

From what Wonwoo can tell, he doesn’t look very happy. 

It reminds him so much of the way he used to be everyday in middle school when classes ended - he gets the urge to go over and speak to the boy. 

But fear gets the best of him so Wonwoo stills, waiting for Mingyu to turn around and keep walking instead. 

Unfortunately, Mingyu is Mingyu. 

Without a word, he starts moving towards the swingset and Wonwoo can already imagine what’s about to unfold. He wonders if this is what their first meeting looked like from an outsider’s point of view.

“Hey buddy.” Mingyu says, crouching down until he’s eye level with the kid. 

Wonwoo has no clue how he does that - talking to strangers like he has nothing to worry about. 

The child startles a bit, nearly hitting Mingyu with his legs and furrows his brows. 

Reletable, Wonwoo thinks. 

“Uh…” The boy squeaks out, gripping the chains of the swing a bit too tightly. “Hello?”

At least he’s friendlier than Wonwoo. 

“Are you alone?” 

Nodding, the boy seems to warm up quickly thanks to Mingyu’s smile and friendly aura. “My sister’s walking our dog in the park.” 

At the mention of a dog, Mingyu bursts out into a gigantic grin. Sensing their conversation will take a while, Wonwoo stops looking like a fool with the way he’s still standing by the entrance and takes a seat on the swing next to the kid. 

He doesn’t register Wonwoo’s presence as he talks excitedly about their family’s dog, a corgi, apparently. 

It’s only after they finish their long talk about dogs does Mingyu ask for the child’s name. 

They learn his name is Hajoon, and that he’s eight. Well, it’s more like Mingyu learns all of that information while Wonwoo absorbs everything he happens to hear. 

“Do you want hyung to push you?” Mingyu suddenly asks, standing up even before Hajoon replies. 

Wonwoo thinks it’s a bad idea, given how clumsy Mingyu is, but Hajoon’s eyes light up at the offer and he can’t ask Mingyu not to do it now. 

“Yeah!” Hajoon grins, shaking the swingset. “Noona sucks at getting the swing to go _whoosh_.”

Chuckling, Mingyu drops his school bag onto the ground and gets behind them. 

That’s when Wonwoo accidentally makes eye contact with the kid. 

“Oh!” He exclaims upon seeing Wonwoo and bows, “hello!” 

Wonwoo waves, smiling. Children are cute, he won’t deny that. 

“Hyung, do you want me to push you too?” 

He’s so glad the only person in the playground is Hajoon because he almost slides off the swing at how close Mingyu is, behind him. 

“What? No, it's fine.” 

“I can make you go _really_ far though!” 

“Mingyu, it’s fine. I can do it myself.” 

Huffing, Mingyu grumbles for a second before turning his attention back to Hajoon. 

Mingyu ‘whispers’ to Hajoon as he dramatically gets ready to push him, “I’m going to push you and you’re going to go further and higher than this stubborn hyung.” 

Cheering, Hajoon grips the metal chains tightly and Wonwoo can’t help the smile from forming on his face. 

Once they’re up in the air, Wonwoo realizes Hajoon _is_ going higher than him. It wouldn’t have bothered him if the kid wasn’t looking so smug about it, and when Wonwoo tilts his head to the side a little he can see the sheer glee on Mingyu’s face. 

Biting the inside of his cheek, Wonwoo uses more force to push himself forward and the whole scene must look ridiculous. A grown man trying to outdo a kid who’s being pushed by another grown man who could possibly propel Hajoon into outer space if he’s not careful.

“Wonwoo hyung, is that _effort_ I’m seeing?” Mingyu calls out teasingly and Wonwoo wishes the wind was stronger so his voice would drown out.

Alas, he hears him loud and clear. 

“No.” 

In his head, he says that calmly. Though the reality is that he yells it out, panting from all the strength he’s used. 

“The offer still stands, you know.” 

Wonwoo digs his shoes into the dirt to stop himself and turns to face Mingyu. 

The grin on his face makes him frown. 

“You can’t push two people at once.”

Apparently, Mingyu takes that as a challenge as he confidently crosses the short distance behind Hajoon to stand behind him instead. 

“Mingyu…” He warns. “I’m not keen on flying off the swing.” 

Giving him a particularly hard slap to his back, Wonwoo nearly chokes. He’s so glad Mingyu doesn’t play volleyball competitively and only does it with Seungkwan for fun.

“C’mon, hyung! I’m not gonna hurt you.” 

“You just did.” 

“Whoops.” Mingyu laughs, clearly not feeling that bad as he soothes the area he’s smacked. 

Wonwoo will _never_ voice out how much he likes the gesture. The last time he did, when Seokmin accidentally ran his fingers through his hair because he’d spent his day doing that with dogs, Wonwoo never heard the end of it.

(“Wonwoo hyung! You’re like a cat!” 

“If you mention this to anyone I’ll kill you.”)

When he’s deemed Wonwoo well enough, Mingyu leans forward until his head is right next to his. 

“Are you ready for the Mingyu Express TradeMark?” 

“Yes, now please go back to proper height. What business does your face have being so close?” He elbows Mingyu away, not giving his heart the time to accelerate. 

Looking to his side, hoping Hajoon isn’t feeling left out, Wonwoo grips the chains when he sees him already staring at them.

There’s this expression on his face - eyes wide, mouth slightly agape, eyebrows drawn. It makes Wonwoo’s stomach drop. 

He used to look at other people hanging out with their friends the same way. 

“Hey, Mingyu.” He whispers, tilting his head up. 

Mingyu bends his neck, looking down. “Yeah?” 

Any other time, when he’s not worrying about kids who might be the same as him, Wonwoo would’ve cared about how intimate the position looks. 

Now, he’s too focused on Hajoon.

“Go push Hajoon instead, I’m fine.” 

Quickly, Mingyu eyes him. He’s no longer looking at them but drawing circles in the dirt with his shoe. 

“Okay. Try not to strain yourself trying to get far, hyung.” He grins and pats his cheek before walking back to Hajoon. 

Rubbing the area where Mingyu’s hand had touched with an eye roll, he gets ready to start swinging again. 

Unable to stop himself, Wonwoo turns his head to check on Hajoon one more time. Thankfully, he’s smiling brightly now, even laughing at something (probably stupid) Mingyu said. 

Relieved, he starts swinging and automatically grins, hearing Hajoon’s shouts of glee. 

“Wonwoo hyung! You suck at this!” Mingyu jeers from the side, though Wonwoo pays him no mind. 

Although he’s forced to pay attention when his words are repeated, with a higher voice. 

“You suck!” 

It’s Hajoon. 

And Wonwoo knows he means no harm, because he’s laughing but he pushes himself back further anyway. 

Mingyu yells again, “are you trying hard, hyung?” 

“Trying!” Hajoon echoes. 

No matter how far he goes, he can’t gather enough momentum to go any higher, much to his disdain. 

He’s just about ready to get off the swing to fight Mingyu when someone calls out Hajoon’s name. 

Excitedly, he jumps off, leaving Mingyu to push air and runs to the figure who’d yelled. “Noona!” 

Both of them turn their attention to the girl who has a leash in hand and using the other to run a hand through Hajoon’s hair.

They must be close. 

“Hey, did you have fun at the playground? You could’ve come with us.” She asks, loud enough for them to hear. 

Looking off to the side, Wonwoo wonders what Mingyu is thinking although he doesn’t have to for long once he sees what Mingyu is staring so intensely at. 

The corgi. 

Before the older sister (Heejun? Hani? Wonwoo can’t recall) can approach Mingyu, he dashes forward and bends down to greet the dog. 

“Here,” she passes the leash right into his open palm and Wonwoo is a little concerned. Shouldn’t she be more wary of strangers? 

Does Mingyu give out such calming vibes that he’s immediately trusted by people who barely know him? That’s amazing, if Wonwoo is being honest. 

She forgoes talking to him once she notices how wrapped he is in coddling the corgi and walks towards him instead. 

Stiffening as she comes closer, Wonwoo wonders how he’s going to get out of this one. Hajoon has successfully become attached to Mingyu and is by his side. 

He’s left to fend for himself against the teenage girl. 

“Good evening, I’m Park Heejin, thanks for taking care of Hajoon.” She greets him politely, and it was Hee _jin_. Right. 

“It was mostly Mingyu, I kinda just sat and watched.” He remarks, not wanting to let Mingyu’s efforts go unappreciated. Plus, it’s true. “He’s a good kid.” 

Sighing, she turns to watch the pair and the little dog playing together and she smiles, slightly sad. 

“Yes, he is. We recently moved here so he’s having a hard time making new friends,” Wonwoo tries not to let it show how those words affect him. “It sucks that we constantly shift around.” 

Humming, he nods in agreement. “I’m sure he’ll find people who’ll become his best friends soon.” 

At that, she smiles. It’s warm, and as she looks over at Hajoon, he can tell they really are close. 

“Thank you, we have to go now though.” Heejin says, stepping forward towards her brother and Wonwoo watches as the three of them crouch around the dog. 

He sees the siblings talking to Mingyu with wide grins and Wonwoo can’t help but smile along, even if he’s not in their dog pile. 

Mingyu’s fantastic with kids. 

But it’s not that surprising, given the way he is. Mingyu’s whole aura is filled with rainbows and sunshine. Not to mention he’s literally the nicest person on the planet with a big heart. 

As they part ways, Hajoon runs over to give Mingyu a hug. It is then that Wonwoo thinks there is nobody else in the world who can compare to him. 

Besides being selfless, Mingyu can make a kid who’s obviously feeling down happier in a matter of seconds. 

That’s the amount of time it’d take Wonwoo to run away from the problem. 

The moment they’re gone, surprisingly heading in the direction of Wonwoo’s apartment, he turns to just _look_ at Mingyu who has the widest grin on his face.

“You’re good with children.” Wonwoo notes, deciding to snap Mingyu out of the daze he’s in. 

Sheepishly, he rubs the back of his neck like it’s something he should be ashamed of. “I have a younger sister at home, kids are great.” 

Wonwoo hums, he can agree with that, even though he wouldn’t really go out of his way to interact with one. Or anyone, for that matter.

“And… I don’t think it’s right to leave someone frowning alone, you know?” 

Ah. 

“Yeah.” 

The conversation stops there. Wonwoo assumes Mingyu must’ve picked up on something, based on his replies. 

It wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened - Mingyu giving him space after realizing what Wonwoo is feeling based on his actions. 

Although it had startled Wonwoo the first time, he’s used to Mingyu’s intuition and is grateful for his consideration. 

Other people (read: Soonyoung) wouldn’t have been able to read him so quickly after only meeting for several weeks. 

He had to tell Soonyoung directly when it came to what he was feeling, and whenever he didn’t want to continue talking. With Mingyu, it’s different. 

Because Mingyu might wear his heart on his sleeve (Wonwoo found out his peers were right, a week after becoming friends), but he also knows how to read people. 

Mingyu has that ability to make a person wear their previously closed off heart on _their_ sleeve, even if it isn’t on purpose. 

They’re walking towards Mingyu’s apartment and passing by the playground, when Wonwoo chooses that moment to speak again - just to say what’s been nagging on his mind. 

“Hey, Mingyu?” 

The response is immediate, “yeah?”

“You’re kind.” He doesn’t elaborate, doesn’t feel the need to. 

By his side, Mingyu makes a noise, first of confusion then acceptance. 

It doesn’t stop there though. 

“But hyung,” he says, smiling. Wonwoo doesn’t trust that smile. “It’s always the kindest people who recognize kindness.”

“I don’t think that’s a thing.” 

“It is now.” 

Sighing, because it’s hard to rebut Mingyu when he’s determined on a topic, he just shrugs. 

Wonwoo was the one who had wanted to bolt the moment he saw a shadow of his younger self. He’s not the one who thought of going up to Hajoon to cheer him up. 

Everything was Mingyu’s idea. 

They can’t - _shouldn’t_ be compared. 

(The sun and the moon are different after all.)

At the lobby of Mingyu’s apartment building, Mingyu tears his eyes away from the red numbers indicating the lift’s descent. 

“Kindness isn’t always the most direct, Wonwoo hyung.” 

He’s still bringing that up?

“I know.” 

Mingyu runs a hand through his hair, a sign he’s frustrated. 

“One day, I’ll make you see how great you are! Mark my words.” He spits the declaration out in a hurry, even forgetting the honorific. 

Wonwoo doesn’t mind. 

“Sure, goodbye Mingyu.” 

The hostile look on his face disappears in a second, and he waves. “See you soon, hyung!” 

As soon as the elevator doors shut, Wonwoo’s heart thumps with Mingyu gone. 

It takes every cell in his body to not sit on the floor right there and then because _how_ , how can one person work Wonwoo up so much. 

How can one person put in so much effort just for him?

Wonwoo doesn’t understand. 

The only thing he _does_ know is that Mingyu has a heart of gold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can u believe we r getting freshteen again :-( i love them
> 
> thank you for reading, i hope all of you have a lovely day!


	3. insufferable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wonwoo experiences a bad case of feelings (specifically: denial) and mingyu isn't helping. 
> 
> (or is he?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> longer chapter today!!!!!!! <3 
> 
> (alternatively titled wonwoo clown hours)

When Mingyu finds out Wonwoo is living alone now that Soonyoung has moved in with his boyfriend, Seokmin (who also happens to be one of Mingyu’s good friends), he immediately texts Wonwoo. 

It’s not unwelcomed, since Wonwoo is bored as hell. The apartment is too quiet, too big, too empty. They should’ve planned what to do with it after the move better. 

But despite what they call Wonwoo (smart, a genius, etc.), he does not think ahead. He just thinks a lot. 

**_gyuden retriever_ **  
_hyung  
r u alone now???_

_**wonu hyung!**_  
_yes  
we helped soonyoung and seokmin move in  
were you unaware that he was my roommate_

_**gyuden retriever**_  
_no!!!!  
we’re all friends hyung  
ofc i know  
also  
u replied rly quick this time_

He chews on his bottom lip, a habit he doubts he’ll ever break out of. Soonyoung gives him lip balm every Christmas, forgoing the unnecessary stress of choosing a present Wonwoo will like. 

Over the past few months (four!) of their friendship, Wonwoo was known to take days to reply to Mingyu’s texts in the beginning. 

According to his sources (Junhui), Mingyu had whined to Minghao about it and ever since hearing that, Wonwoo’s started to respond faster. 

Initially it would take a week, now Wonwoo has shortened it to less than 24 hours. Quite the achievement, Seungcheol had told him with a proud pat on his back. 

Neither of them mentioned how _his_ invitation to hang out had been left unanswered for two weeks and counting. 

So maybe he only has quick reflexes when it comes to Mingyu - sue him. It _happens_ , there are friends everybody prefers talking to at times. 

It’s a total coincidence that Wonwoo somehow always wants to talk to Mingyu even if it means having to pretend nothing is blooming in heart everyday. 

The phone chimes (“What happened to leaving your phone on silent mode?” “Shut up.”) again and he fumbles for it, left forgotten on his pillow. 

**_gyuden retriever_**  
_did i scare u off :(  
im sry u know i dont mind ur slow replies!!!  
ill always wait 4 u_

At the last text, Wonwoo lightly throws his phone somewhere beside him and slams his face into his pillow. 

Ignoring his glasses digging into him, he lets out a pathetic noise (a mix between a whine and groan - maybe having the apartment to himself is better after all) and rubs his eyes. 

Fuck. 

Deep breaths, it doesn’t mean anything. Just Bro Things, you know? 

Just… _god_ , Mingyu is going to kill him. 

Defeated, he reaches for his phone again and decides it’s time to stop being- to stop acting like he has a crush when he _doesn’t_ \- he doesn’t! 

**_wonu hyung!_**  
_sorry  
uh  
dropped my phone  
and thanks_

**_gyuden retriever_** _  
??  
what for?? _

Gritting his teeth, Wonwoo wonders if Mingyu is out to get him. Like, it must be something personal, trying to do whatever he’s doing.

How can he not know what Wonwoo is thanking him for? Read between the lines, it’s not that hard, Kim Mingyu. 

Scowling, he briefly considers replying rudely but Mingyu doesn’t deserve that so he deletes his draft and groans.

Was he always this much of a soft hearted loser?

_**wonu hyung!**_  
_you hate me_

**_gyuden retriever_**  
_what!!!!  
no i dont  
i could NEVER hate u hyung_

_**wonu hyung!**_  
_that's reassuring  
and the thanks was for putting up with my inability to reply_

_**gyuden retriever**_  
_hey!!!!  
ur doing great at responding lately  
even tho u dont have to  
so i appreciate it hyung  
we can always call  
if u want_

**_wonu hyung!_**  
_hao says you prefer texting_

_**gyuden retriever**_  
_i can make exceptions_

**_wonu hyung!_**  
_i'll keep that in mind  
thanks, mingyu_

_**gyuden retriever**_  
_^__^  
wait  
i almost forgot_  
_the reason i texted  
was bc i wanted 2 know  
if i could come over_

Wonwoo shoots up from where he’s lying comfortably on his bed instantly. 

Running a hand through his hair, he cringes at how greasy it feels and then takes a look around his room. 

__

It’s a fucking garbage dump. 

__

God, he can’t even imagine how the living room must look - he still hasn’t cleaned up the mess packing had made. 

__

And it’s Saturday! Saturdays are his lazy days. 

__

There’s no way Mingyu is coming over. Not a chance. 

__

**_wonu hyung!_**  
_umm  
it’s a mess  
like. really messy.  
maybe another time?_

__

I’m a mess, Wonwoo thinks. 

__

**_gyuden retriever_**  
_thats perfect  
im fantastic with messes_

__

Did Mingyu read his fucking mind?

__

(He’s literally talking about the rubbish in his apartment, what on earth is up with Wonwoo today.) 

__

**_gyuden retriever_**  
_as in  
i love 2 clean  
and soonyoung hyung actly asked  
me to go over  
bc he said quote wonwoo would never clear that shit himself unquote_

__

_**wonu hyung!**_  
_soonyoung is not a trustworthy source  
very unreliable._

__

**_gyuden retriever_**  
_but hyung :(_  
_ur alone rn  
n i wanna see u_

__

Wonwoo is going to lose his mind. 

__

He can’t stand honest people, always saying shit like that without batting an eyelash. Groaning again, a jumbled noise leaves his mouth and he presses his face hard into his pillow. 

__

Fuck, Mingyu’s probably pouting at his phone.

__

_It’s not a crush, it’s not a crush, it’s not a crush_ \- he repeats like a matra as he replies, before stumbling to his bathroom to wash up.

__

When he’s clean and attempting to make the apartment a bit more presentable, the doorbell rings and - he’s not ready at all. 

__

Yeah, he’s definitely not ready when he sees Mingyu at his doorstep holding bags of groceries. 

__

“What’s all the… stuff?” Wonwoo asks, gesturing wildly to the two bags in Mingyu’s hands. 

__

He lifts them a little and grins, “Oh this? I’m gonna cook you lunch, since I doubt you’ve eaten.” 

__

It takes Wonwoo a great deal of effort to stop himself from slamming the door shut and running back to the safety of his bed. 

__

“You don’t have to…” He replies, even though his stomach is growling in excitement at the idea of a home cooked meal. 

__

Mingyu smiles, and Wonwoo has no choice but to step aside so he can enter.

__

“But I want to, so don’t worry about it, hyung.” 

__

After removing his shoes and putting them neatly by the wall, he strides into Wonwoo’s apartment like he owns the place. 

__

He hasn’t even visited before, but he walks around like the exact layout is engraved in his brain. It’s kind of scary. 

__

“Hyung, we should get started on cleaning.” 

__

Wonwoo has never hated a single word that’s left Mingyu’s mouth, but that sentence might just change that. 

__

Laughing, Mingyu looks around and then back at him. 

__

“Don’t look so down, we’ll get it done in no time.” 

__

Sometimes Wonwoo wonders who’s the older one. 

__

“Come on, or else we’ll be having dunch.” Mingyu snorts at his own words and Wonwoo can only cringe. 

__

“Dunch?” Wonwoo can _hear_ the disgust in his voice and when Mingyu turns around to respond, he raises a brow in definance, “It's linner.” 

__

Having halted once Wonwoo spoke, Mingyu moves so fast to grab and shake him, there might be actual stars in his living room. 

__

“Hyung, there’s no way it’s linner - that sounds ugly.” 

__

He did not just say that.

__

Wonwoo steps back, away from Mingyu’s grip to get a hold of his sanity again and clears his throat. 

__

“Actually…” 

__

They end up going back and forth the whole time they clean, and Wonwoo has never had so much fun sweeping the floor. 

__

By the time they finish, the debate doesn’t have a successful conclusion and they ask their friends to vote instead.

__

While waiting for their answers, Mingyu takes the opportunity to start cooking and asks Wonwoo to help.

__

Which, of course, leads to him warning Mingyu that he’s responsible for anything that happens.

__

Frowning, he protests, “this is your apartment, why is it my problem?” 

__

Like the reason is obvious, Wonwoo points at the vegetables with the knife he’s cutting them with and shrugs. “Because you’re the one who requested my presence in the kitchen - that’s a hazard.” 

__

From the corner of his eye, he sees Mingyu move but Wonwoo doesn’t manage to register the action fast enough to avoid what comes next. 

__

Mingyu reaches out a hand and places it on Wonwoo’s wrist, gently pushing the knife back onto the chopping board until he lets go.

__

He has to do a double take to make sure that Mingyu’s hands aren’t on fire because of how warm his wrist feels after. 

__

“Wonwoo hyung, that’s dangerous, please be careful. I don’t have insurance.” 

__

It’s not even funny - okay, maybe it is, but Wonwoo laughs so hard he feels his eyes squeezing shut. 

__

That only ever happens when he finds something downright hilarious, and lately, it’s been happening a lot with Mingyu. 

__

Hoping he hasn’t noticed his embarrassing (“It’s cute!” Soonyoung’s voice echoes in his head) habit, Wonwoo quickly opens his eyes again. 

__

Thankfully, he’s back to stirring whatever he’s making in the pot that they were both surprised to even find. 

__

Seeing that he’s out of danger, Wonwoo resumes chopping the vegetables with caution this time, because he knows how to do that much despite never utilizing the full purpose of any kitchen. 

__

If anyone asks, no, Wonwoo does not steal glances at Mingyu the whole time they’re together. He just has to shift around so he doesn’t get a sore neck or something. 

__

When Mingyu is done with everything, the outcome is in the form of something that resembles kimchi stew. 

__

They settle in the small dining area Soonyoung insisted on having, for the aesthetic he had said. Now Soonyoung isn’t even here to appreciate the feeling of eating a home cooked meal. 

__

He still has Mingyu though, who probably doesn’t find this to be a rarity in his life, unlike Wonwoo who hasn’t had a meal that isn’t instant noodles since Soonyoung moved out. 

__

Usually, he’d order takeout but Wonwoo’s been feeling lazy for the past few days, and boiling water is easy. 

__

“Wonwoo hyung,” Mingyu’s voice registers in his head and so does the spoon inches away from his mouth so he opens it on instinct. 

__

The realization only sinks in after he starts chewing and glances to his side to find Mingyu staring at him while he eats. 

__

His cheeks grow warm and Wonwoo quickly looks away, trying his best to ignore the fondness in Mingyu’s eyes. 

__

It’s not a crush.

__

Feeding… feeding people is normal for friends, Wonwoo reminds himself and clears his throat after swallowing. Anyway, whatever he’d been fed is delicious, actually.

__

“This is really good.” 

__

“I’d be more shocked if it wasn’t, honestly.” He answers, smirking with a raised eyebrow and it isn’t the first time Wonwoo has seen him looking confident. 

__

Huffing in faux annoyance, he continues eating from his own bowl this time and the room is filled with silence. 

__

Despite only becoming friends a few months ago, it’s not a quiet that Wonwoo can’t tolerate or finds incredibly awkward. 

__

It’s nice, calming even. 

__

Being with Mingyu is _odd_ and he’s surprised at how it feels like they’ve known each other for years. 

__

Wonwoo has never been this comfortable around a new friend this easily. It had taken ten months before he got used to Soonyoung’s loudness and they were childhood neighbours. 

__

(Maybe we’re soulmates, the part of Wonwoo that secretly indulges in romance novels chimes in, and he quickly slaps that thought away.

__

That’s impossible.) 

__

When they’re finished after a long struggle of Wonwoo fighting his annoying thoughts and trying to keep his cool all while trying to enjoy his food, he suggests washing all the dishes. 

__

“You don’t have to, I can help.” Mingyu says, already standing up. 

__

Pushing him back down onto his chair, Wonwoo shakes his head so fast he can hear a crack in his neck. Ouch. “No way. You sit here and exchange gases while I wash up, you’ve done a lot today.” 

__

“Okay, but we’re going out after that.” Mingyu relents, without as much of a fight as he’d thought. 

__

He’s not opposed to getting some fresh air so he agrees as he cleans up. 

__

When Wonwoo places everything to dry, he turns around to see Mingyu staring out the window and his breath catches. 

__

If Wonwoo had the ability, he’d pick up a pencil and sketch Mingyu or something, because he looks _ethereal_. 

__

There’s a bit of sun filtering in and it shines _just right_ on him. Wonwoo would be a fool to deny how attractive Mingyu is, even if he doesn’t have a crush. 

__

Becoming friends with him meant finding out that Mingyu has it all. And the more (positive) things Wonwoo discovers about Mingyu, it’s like his attractiveness increases. 

__

“Mingyu,” he clears his throat to snap himself out of the dazed state he ended up in and to get Mingyu’s attention. “I’m done, let’s go.” 

__

Hoping his face isn’t as obvious as his heart thumping against his chest (why’s it even doing that), Wonwoo does a quick check of the apartment and makes sure every switch is off. 

__

Once he’s at the door, he slips on his shoes and meets Mingyu outside.

__

The moment they make eye contact, Mingyu breaks out into a blinding grin and Wonwoo has to wonder what’s wrong. 

__

Does he have food stuck in his teeth? Can Mingyu hear his heartbeat? Is Mingyu sane? 

__

“Why are you smiling.” Wonwoo eventually asks, because they’re standing outside his door like losers and Mingyu won’t start walking. 

__

He just keeps looking at him and Wonwoo wants to go back inside. 

__

Then he starts giggling, and if he wasn’t so confused by Mingyu’s lack of explanation he would’ve found it endearing. 

__

“Hyung, your hair’s sticking up at the back.” 

__

Automatically, Wonwoo’s hand flies to the back of his head and he cringes. How long had it been like that? He didn’t even take a nap. 

__

“And there’s soap on your shirt.” Mingyu pokes him and he looks down, horrified to see that there is in fact a wet patch on his favorite shirt. 

__

“I’m a mess.” Wonwoo breathes out, exasperated by his own carelessness. 

__

Before he can even tell Mingyu he’s going inside to freshen up, a hand that’s not his settles on the back of his head. 

__

“Good thing I’m fantastic with messes.” 

__

Invading his personal bubble even further, Mingyu steps closer and Wonwoo is essentially trapped with the door behind him. 

__

“Hey-”

__

Ignoring him (rude), Wonwoo feels Mingyu flattening the parts sticking out and he curses in his head. 

__

He bites his lip and prays to every god out there that none of his neighbors decide to go outside. 

__

The moment Mingyu starts stroking his hair the same way he’d pet stray cats in the area, his brain shuts down.

__

“There - all done!” He _finally_ steps back and Wonwoo can breathe again, though his lungs are the only part of him that’s working. 

__

His heart has gone haywire, and Wonwoo convinces himself he’s getting a fever because of how warm he suddenly feels. 

__

Stupid Mingyu. 

__

Always acting like the sun or some shit. He’s definitely out to kill Wonwoo. 

__

“I’m going to change.” Wonwoo manages to wheeze out, avoiding eye contact as he slips back in. 

__

Mingyu doesn’t need to know that when he shuts the door, Wonwoo practically collapses into a squatting position. 

__

Lightly hitting his cheeks with his knuckles, he tells himself to get his shit together and proceeds to change into a sweater. 

__

This is nothing, Wonwoo convinces himself one last time before pulling the door open. 

__

“I’m ready.” He nods at Mingyu and praises himself for not flushing when he sees _that_ smile with the canines. 

__

Cheering, he walks ahead as Wonwoo lingers behind, thinking about what to eat for dinner, even though they just had lunch. 

__

And it’s only when they’re outside, does Wonwoo realize he has no idea where they’re going. 

__

“Wait, Mingyu.” He calls ahead and Mingyu instantly whips his head around. 

__

He jogs to where Wonwoo stands still, even though the distance between them isn’t that much and asks, “What’s wrong?” 

__

“Where are we going? We passed by the playground earlier.” 

__

The same playground where they first met, and the playground where they continue to meet up, sometimes. 

__

“Oh, to my place.” He answers before resuming his walk. 

__

Wonwoo doesn’t even get the chance to ask what they’re doing there. 

__

They’re visiting each other’s apartments in one day? He never agreed to this. 

__

Before he gets the chance to protest, Mingyu has reached the front of his apartment building and is waving frantically. 

__

People walking past do a double take and Wonwoo snorts to himself. 

__

“Why are we here?” He gets to ask once they’re in the elevator going up. 

__

“I wanna get my camera, then we’re going back outside.” 

__

“But it didn’t rain?” 

__

“Yes it did.” 

__

Wonwoo stops walking in the middle of the hallway. 

__

“What? No it didn’t.” 

__

Mingyu carries on, heading straight for his door.

__

“Yeah it did, when we were making lunch and then eating it.” 

__

Either Wonwoo is super oblivious or he needs new glasses because there is no way it rained. 

__

If it had rained, he would’ve known. Wonwoo always knows when it rains. 

__

“Are you lying? Why are you lying?” 

__

Mingyu laughs as he unlocks his door, causing Wonwoo to frown. 

__

“Hyung, it seriously rained, I’m telling you. Didn’t you notice how wet the ground was on the way here?” 

__

There’s no way Mingyu isn’t fucking with him. And the ground? Who looks down when they’re walking - Wonwoo sure doesn’t. 

__

They go back and forth like that for the second time as they step inside, toeing off their shoes. 

__

By the time Mingyu grabs his DSLR, Wonwoo is convinced they’re living in different universes. 

__

“I’m telling you! It didn’t rain!” He raises his voice, and it goes higher than it normally is. He’s too bothered to care though. 

__

“Wonwoo hyung,” Mingyu sighs, it’s the first one since they started the conversation. “It rained.” 

__

“Okay, fine, _hypothetically_ \- it did, there surely aren’t any rainbows around.” 

__

Wonwoo knows the reason Mingyu does outside after a drizzle or shower is to take pictures of rainbows. Or rather, to find them, since he had complained to Wonwoo the other day about how hard it is to see one. 

__

Initially, he had found it a pretty ridiculous hobby - why would he need to go outside when it’d probably be viewable from the window? Wonwoo didn’t understand. 

__

But after seeing one with Mingyu by total coincidence, he gets it now. 

__

(It has nothing to do with how excited Mingyu got when they saw it, how he repeatedly pointed at it and how Wonwoo had to remind him to take a picture. 

__

It has nothing to do with how Wonwoo’s picture of the rainbow had included Mingyu, arms raised to capture the actual thing. 

__

It has absolutely nothing to do with how Mingyu had turned around with stars in his eyes, going on and on about how much he wanted to see one after so long. 

__

And if Wonwoo took a picture of that - Mingyu starry eyed with the rainbow beside him, no one will know. 

__

Mingyu and Wonwoo’s new found appreciation for rainbows - no correlation at all.) 

__

Most of the time, whenever the rain passes, Mingyu will text Wonwoo to meet up. Wonwoo goes on his mind clearing journey (which ends up failing with his new companion) and Mingyu searches for rainbows. 

__

But now - after that incident, whenever Wonwoo goes on walks alone after the rain, he subconsciously raises his head just to see if there’s a splash of colour in the sky. 

__

‘The Mingyu Effect’, Junhui had dubbed it. Wonwoo doesn’t believe in it. 

__

All of a sudden, it goes quiet. It’d been quiet earlier, when Wonwoo was recalling the one and only time he saw that rainbow with Mingyu but this is a different kind of quiet. 

__

“Mingyu?” Wonwoo glances to his side, worry thrumming in his veins when he sees him silent. 

__

Sighing, he looks Wonwoo dead in the eye and flashes a smile he’d never seen before. “It’s embarrassing but I really wanted to go on a walk with you… and maybe take some pictures… of you…?” 

__

“Oh.” 

__

For the first time ever since meeting him, Wonwoo has never seen Mingyu look so small and shy before. Well, their second encounter might count, but other than that - it's a rare sight. They’re standing right outside the playground and Wonwoo’s shoulders relax.

__

And getting his pictures taken? That’s fine. Probably. 

__

“Sure, all you had to do was ask.” 

__

Definitely something that’s out of Wonwoo’s comfort zone though, but he gives in anyway. 

__

With a burst of life, Mingyu’s eyes flare with happiness or _something_ and Wonwoo looks at the ground, avoiding again. 

__

Mingyu _skips_ forward, stops to wait for Wonwoo to catch up and then smiles once he’s standing next to him. 

__

On the way to wherever they’re going, Mingyu makes small talk, which isn’t anything new so Wonwoo listens attentively as usual. 

__

Halfway through Mingyu’s recount of how Seokmin almost fell into a pond while modelling for him, it dawns on Wonwoo how _comfortable_ being with Mingyu is for the second time. 

__

And because he’s terrified of things he can’t understand, and feelings that are foreign, he shoves that thought down to the back of his brain and swears to never bring it up again. 

__

They’re just friends, he’s the same with Jihoon, Soonyoung and Junhui. He’s the same with Chan, Seungkwan and the rest of his social circle. 

__

Being with Mingyu is the same as being with all of them, there’s nothing special about it. 

__

There’s nothing special in the way his mouth quirks up when he sees a message from Mingyu, and there’s most certainly nothing special in the way his heart skips a beat (or two) whenever they’re in close proximity. 

__

Wonwoo has experience with crushes, this isn’t anything like it. He’s fine, he’s fine. 

__

_He’s fine._

_  
_

Once they reach their destination - a park that looks stunning with the way autumn approaches and causes the leaves to transition from green to orange, Wonwoo watches as Mingyu wanders around the area. 

__

If he’s going to take pictures, this place doesn’t seem all too bad, Wonwoo muses as he takes the time to explore too. 

__

_This_ is the kind of ambience he loves, and he’ll definitely return with a book in hand next time. The leaves feel so good crunching under his shoes and Wonwoo can’t remember the last time he appreciated nature like this. 

__

A gasp escapes his mouth out of its own accord when he spots a black cat _napping_ on one of the benches. 

__

With slow and steady steps, Wonwoo carefully approaches it, phone in hand. From a safe distance, he takes several pictures of it from different angles.

__

Each time he moves to switch positions, he ensures there aren’t any leaves under his shoes. As much as he loves the crunch, he would be devastated if he woke the little thing up. 

__

It looks so serene, shining under the sunspots that manage to make their way through the gaps between leaves on the tree standing tall right behind the bench. 

__

Wonwoo inches closer, having a mental breakdown in his head. Should he pet the cat? What if it wakes up? 

__

Embarrassingly, the idea of causing the cat to awake from its slumber makes him whine. He really doesn’t want to disturb it. 

__

But he wants to feel its fur against his palm. 

__

Wonwoo wonders what the colour of its eyes are as he stands completely still a good metre away from the bench. 

__

He doesn’t have to wonder for long however. Like he’s living in a comic book, he hears a loud snap and then an equally loud “oh shit!”

__

The cat’s eyes are yellow. 

__

He immediately glares at the person who’d ruined the cat’s nap and feels his gaze involuntarily soften when it’s Mingyu who greets him. 

__

“Uh- Whoops?” He whispers, looking guilty. 

__

The branch he’d stepped on lays dead to the world in half right beneath his shoe, and Wonwoo sighs. 

__

Thankfully, the cat hasn’t run away (really - thank god) and it seems to be observing both of them. 

__

Ignoring Mingyu, he takes a cautious step towards the bench. The cat stays in place. He reaches his hand out, positioning it in front of its tiny nose. 

__

In a moment of weakness, Wonwoo lets out a coo at how _cute_ the cat is. He hopes Mingyu didn’t hear that. 

__

The cat deems him safe and Wonwoo almost lets out tears of joy. Jihoon says he’d rather die than be caught fawning over a cat by Junhui and Wonwoo kind of gets it now. 

__

Except there’s no time for him to cut his blood circulation off so he just has to accept that Mingyu can see everything that’s happening and pretend he isn’t there. 

__

“Hello…” 

__

He crouches down so he’s eye level with the feline and the cat rubs against the back of his hand. 

__

Wonwoo thinks today is the best day of his life. 

__

For the next ten minutes, Wonwoo pets the cat (he’s started calling it Seaweed in his head) and as much as he wants to take pictures, he’s afraid that moving around will cause the cat to stop nuzzling against his hand. 

__

Instead, he rubs the cat where he knows they love to be touched and gives it all the attention it wants. Seaweed is the first cat that’s accepted everything he has to give on the first meeting. 

__

All the strays in his neighbourhood had taken some time to warm up to him. He hopes they’re doing alright. 

__

Maybe he’ll go search for them tomorrow. 

__

Wonwoo sees a shadow towering over him and nearly loses his balance on his toes. He’d forgotten Mingyu was there. 

__

“You’re really good with animals, hyung.” He says, the camera now slung on his shoulder instead of around his neck as he bends down to look at Seaweed. 

__

“Ah,” Wonwoo makes a noise. “Sorry, do you want to take pictures now?” 

__

“No, it’s okay! Keep going, I think she likes that.” Mingyu gestures to the way he’s scratching Seaweed’s head and he relaxes. 

__

Mingyu isn’t mad. 

__

In fact, he looks really happy. 

__

“Are you sure you don’t want to take those pictures, Mingyu? The sun is going to set soon…” 

__

“There’s still time, no worries.” Mingyu replies, giggling after when Seaweed turns her head to sniff his fingers. “Aren’t you _adorable_?” 

__

Curiously, Wonwoo observes the way he handles her and he flickers between Mingyu’s face and Seaweed. He’s experienced. 

__

Throwing away any irrational fear of speaking first, Wonwoo asks, “Do you have a cat at home - in Anyang?” 

__

Humming, he continues petting her, moving to sit on the bench and tucking his camera safely on his lap. 

__

“Nope. I just see a lot of strays around, searched how to approach them and stuff. I like all kinds of animals - minus bugs.” 

__

Wonwoo groans. 

__

“Hyung? Are you feeling okay?” Mingyu worries, facing Wonwoo although his hand is still on Seaweed. 

__

Wearily, he watches the way Mingyu pets her and chooses to stay locked onto the cat’s yellow eyes instead. 

__

“I… I love cats.” 

__

That’s not what he wanted to say. 

__

“I mean- No, wait- Yes.” He trips over his words and detests the way his face flushes. So much for being a literature major. Clearing his throat, Wonwoo attempts to explain, “I love cats... “ 

__

It’s literally no different from what he’d said earlier. Wonwoo wants to slam his head against the bench. 

__

As he starts counting in his head to calm himself down from whatever the hell he was trying to say, he hears a laugh. 

__

He doesn’t have to look up to see who’s laughing. 

__

“It’s alright, you don’t have to tell me more. Just say what you want to, when you want to.” 

__

Peeking up, Wonwoo finally glances at Mingyu properly and breathes out a quiet sigh of relief to see he’s looking at Seaweed. 

__

Even though he can probably feel Wonwoo’s eyes on him, Mingyu doesn’t mention it and stays focused on petting the cat and he eases up. 

__

“Thank you.” He mumbles, hoping Mingyu has ultrasonic hearing. 

__

Mingyu tilts his head slightly, and Wonwoo doesn’t turn away this time. The soft smile Mingyu presents him is enough to make Wonwoo fall. 

__

Literally. 

__

In a split second he goes from squatting to sitting on the ground. At least his feet don’t hurt from supporting his weight anymore. 

__

More laughter sounds throughout the park and Wonwoo glares at Mingyu. 

__

“You’re supposed to ask if I’m hurt, Mingyu. Your hyung just _fell_.” 

__

Smirking, Mingyu stares straight at Wonwoo and he gulps. That’s not a good sign. 

__

“My bad. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, hyung?” 

__

It’s very distressing how he’s torn between wanting to: a. kill Mingyu, b. laugh at the horrible joke or c. hit himself for blushing. 

__

“That was fucking terrible. Never talk to me again.” 

__

“But hyung - your face is red!” Mingyu whines, pointing at him. 

__

He backs away from the finger in front of his face and grunts, petting Seaweed more comfortably now that he’s on the floor. 

__

“It’s from the weather, don’t kid yourself, Mingyu.” 

__

Their hands brush against each other now that they’re both touching Seaweed and Wonwoo rolls his eyes at Mingyu’s smug expression. 

__

Absolutely insufferable. 

__

To his dismay, Seaweed jumps off the bench as soon as the sun begins to set. 

__

“Bye Seaweed…” He says, waving as he watches her saunter off. Hopefully she has a place to sleep now that it’s getting colder. 

__

“You named the cat Weed?” Wonwoo hears Mingyu question from behind him.

__

Scoffing, he decides to let himself go for a minute and leans against Mingyu’s legs. He ignores how they tense up.

__

“Do you have hearing problems? It’s _Seaweed_.” 

__

“Then her nickname would be Weed.” 

__

“It could be Sea.” 

__

“Weed.” 

__

“Be quiet, Seaweed is a lovely name.” He snaps, instantly hating himself for pouting over it but Wonwoo names every cat he chances upon.

__

Every name matters, and he will not stand for Mingyu making fun of them. 

__

Wonwoo feels a hand pat his head and he wants a sinkhole to open up below him _right now_. He shouldn’t have leaned against Mingyu’s legs. 

__

And then he realizes something, embarrassment flying away in a second.

__

“Did you just touch me without washing your hands, Kim Mingyu?” 

__

“Um…” 

__

In less than a second, he stands up and Wonwoo runs his hand through Mingyu’s hair, messing it up. 

__

“Now we’ll both get fleas.” 

__

He watches in satisfaction as Mingyu stares at him, mouth agape and hair sticking in every direction. 

__

And then Wonwoo has his second realization. 

__

His knee is on one side of Mingyu’s thighs, if he put the other up on the bench he’d be straddling him. 

__

Fuck. 

__

Like he’s just been burnt, Wonwoo quickly scrambles off and faces away. 

__

_Fuck._

__

Doing a quick survey of the area he’s relieved to see there aren’t that many people around. That means no one saw Wonwoo doing… _that_. 

__

Maybe if he actually used his brain to process his actions before proceeding with them, he wouldn’t be in this mess. 

__

“Hyung,” Mingyu calls out, Wonwoo doesn’t dare look back. “Turn around.” 

__

But because he doesn’t learn his lesson, he does as he’s told and doesn’t have time to react as a picture gets taken. 

__

Checking his camera, Mingyu hums. “You look nice, with the sun setting behind you.” 

__

Oh. He’s right. The sun is setting (has been for a while now) and the sky has turned into a beautiful colour. A mix of red, pink and blue. 

__

Wonwoo walks forward, trying to get a better view. Most of the time, he only sees the sunset when he’s with Mingyu. Otherwise he’d be at home staring at his laptop screen. 

__

Of course it’s Mingyu who shows him all the beautiful things in life. How cheesy. 

__

Taking his phone out of his pocket, Wonwoo takes a picture of the sky, immediately making it his new home screen. 

__

He hears the shutter of Mingyu’s camera go off incessantly behind him and tunes it out. While enjoying the breeze provided by sundown, he observes the sky change colours in a matter of seconds. 

__

Just like that, it’s dark out. 

__

After deeming the sky unphotographable, Mingyu stands by Wonwoo’s side and his stomach graciously chooses that moment to let out a resounding growl.

__

“Well,” Mingyu starts giggling and Wonwoo shrugs at his reaction. He can’t believe they’ve been outside for so long. “How about we get some dinner?”

__

“Only if you’re paying.” Wonwoo jokes, not actually meaning it. 

__

Mingyu seems to think differently though, as he readily agrees. 

__

“Wait, I was kidding.” 

__

“I’m not.” 

__

“But I am.” 

__

“Why am I getting a sense of deja vu?” 

__

They banter back and forth about whether Mingyu gets to pay for his meal and finally settle their duel with him swearing to pay next time. 

__

It’s only when Wonwoo is swallowing his udon noodles like a mad man does he realize what Mingyu paying for his food next time means. 

__

There’s the implication that they’ll hang out again - not very shocking news really, and that it’ll be a date.

__

Or not, since friends can pay for each other’s lunch. 

__

_Whatever_ , it’s free food. 

__

Mingyu ends up walking Wonwoo home even though his apartment is in the opposite direction and they stop right outside his door. 

__

Rolling his eyes, Wonwoo searches for his keys as he tells Mingyu off for going the extra mile by taking the elevator with him. 

__

“You shouldn’t have come all the way to my door, now you have to take the elevator back down.” He grunts out, fingers wrapping around the set of metal in his pocket.

__

Not paying his words any mind, Mingyu looks at him with a twinkle in his eye and Wonwoo wishes he had the self control to face away. 

__

“Hyung, you know it’s fine.” 

__

Without any idea of how he’s supposed to reply to Mingyu’s stubbornness, Wonwoo waits for him to break the silence. 

__

Sensing the awkwardness, Mingyu steps back from where he’d been previously standing - a little too close to Wonwoo, and grins. 

__

“I had a good day today, hyung. Thanks for letting me come over.” 

__

Wonwoo bites the inside of his cheek and glances at Mingyu’s camera. 

__

He grips the keys tighter in his palm. 

__

“Mingyu,” Wonwoo carefully says, noticing the way Mingyu’s fingers twitch at the sound of his name. “If you ever want to…”

__

Stopping, he rolls the words around in his head again. How the hell is he supposed to phrase it?

__

“Pictures - if you want to take more… just drop a text, or something.” 

__

The keys are digging painfully into his skin but he ignores the feeling in favour of holding his breath. 

__

That was so stupid. 

__

Why did he even suggest that? Mingyu probably has a bunch of other friends whom he can take pictures of. 

__

“I mean- you don’t have to, of course. Only if you don’t mind it being… me…” Wonwoo trails off, slumping against his door. He’s terrible at this. 

__

But he’d felt bad. Mingyu brought his heavy ass camera around with every intention to snap a few shots of him - which still serves as a surprise, yet Wonwoo spent his time talking to a _cat_. 

__

Not once did he pose for Mingyu, the sunset picture doesn’t count. 

__

Chewing on his lip, Wonwoo waits for a reply, wondering if Mingyu is simply going to walk away. 

__

Suddenly, he feels a weight on his chin and he glances up, dragging his eyes away from the random stain on the floor. 

__

He thinks he might’ve cut his palm with the keys. 

__

Mingyu’s face is _so damn close_ , and he’s staring right at Wonwoo, thumb gently pulling his lip away from the vice grip his teeth have on it. 

__

“You shouldn’t do that, it'll bleed.” 

__

“Uh.” 

__

Patting his cheek (what is he - a child?), Mingyu gives Wonwoo the space he needs again and smiles. It’s soft. 

__

“I’ll take you up on that offer, hyung. See you when I see you!” 

__

With a quick wave, Mingyu turns around and jogs towards the elevator. He doesn’t even get the chance to say goodbye. 

__

What the fuck? 

__

It’s only when the number reaches the ground floor does Wonwoo pull himself up from where he’d been leaning against the door. 

__

His bottom lip continues to burn as he takes his keys out from his pocket, huffing a sigh of relief seeing his hand mostly unscathed. 

__

The imprint of the sharp parts remain on his skin until he takes a hot shower but the warmth of Mingyu’s touch doesn't leave even after he closes his eyes in bed. 

__

Wonwoo can’t stand Mingyu. 

__

(It’s _not_ a crush.)

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happie hochi day!!! :D!!!
> 
> hope everyone has a good day! comments and kudos are always appreciated <3!!


	4. strong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wonwoo is left in awe at how much strength mingyu possesses, mentally and physically.

The first time Wonwoo gets a call from Mingyu, he’s in the library. 

Completely forgetting he doesn’t have his phone on silent anymore, he flushes red with embarrassment when all heads turn to him as IU's _through the night_ plays. 

It echoes around and he hurries to accept the call, bowing his head in shame as he heads outside. 

“Hyung…” 

Startled, Wonwoo pulls his phone away from his ear and checks the caller ID - Mingyu. 

“Mingyu? You hate phone calls.” He chuckles, remembering the time Mingyu had told him how he’d confessed to his high school crush through the phone and how she had it on speaker - causing all her friends to hear him. Mingyu never ended up getting a yes from her, apparently.

The other side is silent, and Wonwoo’s waits while watching students exit the library - some with friends and others alone. It _is_ getting late. 

Mingyu continues to remain silent, causing Wonwoo’s smile to drop. Pressing the phone harder against his ear, he strains to hear if Mingyu is still breathing. 

“Mingyu? Are you there?” He asks, checking his screen to ensure the call hasn’t been cut off. 

Fear enters his brain and he opens his mouth to ask again when he finally hears something. 

Although it’s not quite what he’d wanted to hear. 

A sob, and then two and _Mingyu is crying_. 

“Mingyu? What’s wrong? Where are you?” Frantically, Wonwoo questions, feeling his pulse quicken. 

Is he hurt somewhere? 

He hears Mingyu let out a choked sob and Wonwoo’s heart falls. “Hey Mingyu, it’s okay, I’m here. Can you tell me where you are?” 

Through some coaxing and reassuring, he manages to get the location out of Mingyu who hasn’t stopped crying. 

“‘M at our playground…” Mingyu softly says, and if he hadn’t been straining to listen, Wonwoo would’ve missed it. 

Relief washes over him in that instant. He’s safe, thank god. 

“Okay. Wait for me, Gyu, I’ll be there soon.” 

Mingyu grunts on the other line and Wonwoo tells him to hold on as he dashes back into the library, slamming his laptop shut in record time. 

Dumping everything in his bag, he runs out and presses the phone back to his ear. 

“I’m back, and on the way. Do you wanna talk as I run?” 

“Hyung, you don’t have to run. I-I’ll be fine.” Mingyu manages to croak out, his throat is probably dry from all the crying. 

Wonwoo stops by the convenience store, purchasing a packet of tissues and a giant bottle of water while telling Mingyu he will run there no matter what. 

Gently, while getting ready to sprint, he informs, “Gyu, I’m gonna hang up now, see you in five minutes.” 

“Wait-” But Wonwoo hangs up before he can try to convince him and takes off. 

Even though the bottle is a pain in the ass to hold and his laptop slams against his back uncomfortably, Wonwoo ignores the discomfort and speeds up the moment he sees the playground. 

“Mingyu!” He shouts, closing his mouth when he remembers it’s close to ten at night and there are residents in the area. 

Once he reaches the swings, he puts his hands on his knees and huffs to catch his breath. 

Wordlessly, Wonwoo hands the bottle of water over to Mingyu and feels his heart break at the sight of him. 

The area under his eyes are red from crying and he looks devastated. There are unshed tears and Wonwoo has never seen Mingyu look so tiny and broken.

“Gyu... “ Wonwoo begins, wheezing. He steps closer to where he’s seated and crouches down in front of him. “What happened?”

The position is less than comfortable, but this is about Mingyu. 

He feels his eyebrows furrow as Mingyu’s lip trembles, hands squeezing his knees to the point it must hurt. 

Gently, Wonwoo slips a hand under Mingyu’s, hoping the smile he gives him is reassuring. 

Wonwoo waits for any signs of disgust and relaxes when he feels their fingers intertwining instead. 

Most people don’t know, but Wonwoo thinks holding hands is the best kind of skinship there is. He only does it with people he’s close to though, and so far - only Soonyoung has felt what it’s like. 

Until Mingyu. 

Rubbing soothing circles on the juncture between Mingyu’s thumb and index finger, he hopes it's enough. Mingyu has stopped crying at least, though his sniffles don’t go unheard. 

When the silence breaks, Wonwoo momentarily pauses his movements. 

“You called me Gyu.” 

And resumes.

“I- That… yeah. It just came out, sorry.” Wonwoo replies, actually having forgotten about it. He hadn’t even noticed he’d used a nickname honestly. 

“I like it.” Mingyu mumbles, squeezing Wonwoo’s hand. 

Oh. 

Squeezing back, Wonwoo breathes out, “I like it too.” 

They don’t talk for a while after that exchange. Wonwoo looks at Mingyu looking up at the sky, watching the clouds pass by. 

No rainbows, but at least the moon is there - shining down on them. 

He’d wiped his face so the tear streaks are no longer there and the giant water bottle he’d bought is three quarters down. 

Wonwoo doesn’t really need an explanation, that’s not what he rushed over for anyway, so he sits with Mingyu and continues holding his hand. 

Although Mingyu has baby hands, according to their friends, it’s still significantly bigger than Wonwoo’s own. 

While Mingyu’s fingers are thick and on the shorter side, Wonwoo’s are slender and a little longer. He’s never thought about it. 

And then Wonwoo starts to think about the other aspects in which they’re different. Their majors aren’t too far off from each other, Mingyu is studying communications and Wonwoo is in literature. 

Mingyu’s kind, soft, wears his heart on his sleeve. He’s bright eyed and enjoys the company of others. He’s quick to learn, and never steps out of line. Mingyu is warm. 

That’s not to say Wonwoo is cold, since he’s past the age of self deprecation (hopefully), but he’s nothing compared to Mingyu. 

Like a star. 

(Like a star on a Christmas tree - he snorts to himself.)

Playing with his fingers, Wonwoo continues thinking about Mingyu, his good qualities, the endearing ones and the slightly annoying ones. 

When he focuses on Mingyu again, he considers telling him all about them. About what he really thinks of Mingyu, about how he feels. 

Funny, since he only figured out the latter just recently.

“Wonwoo hyung.” 

“Yeah?” 

He sees the hesitation in Mingyu’s eyes - heart on his sleeve remember? And intertwines their fingers back together. 

“Just tell me what you want to, when you want to.” 

A small smile breaks out, the first of the evening and Wonwoo’s heart floats. Frowns don’t look good on Mingyu after all. 

“It’s gonna sound so stupid.” 

“No it won’t.” 

Mingyu’s eyes him wearily, like there have been people who’d dismiss his concerns as if they were nothing. 

“Really,” Wonwoo assures, “I promise it’s not stupid if it made you sad.” 

“Okay…” Mingyu mutters, feet shifting. Wonwoo sees the movement, is reminded of his own feet and finally moves out of the squat. 

Wonwoo sits cross legged on the dirt, his bag next to him and he squeezes Mingyu’s hand. 

Mingyu’s brows furrow, his lips pressing into a hard line. 

“Is it uncomfortable?” 

Shaking his head, Wonwoo smiles. “Not at all. Whenever you’re ready, Gyu.” 

Attention on Mingyu, Wonwoo listens to every word he has to say. Apparently, his group mates had been ignoring suggestions he’d made for their presentation. 

He’d cited sources and friends that stated what needed to be included, but all of them ignored his words without a second thought. 

The stress had gotten too much and he ended up leaving his apartment to take a break. 

“I left just to clear my mind… but I ended up crying from frustration.” Mingyu weakly laughs, his other hand curling into a fist. 

Wonwoo nods, showing Mingyu he’s listening and urges him to go on. 

“I’m afraid it needs to be in our presentation but they don’t believe me and I don’t know how to convince them. We have to send in our slides in _half an hour_.” 

Messing up his hair with his free hand, Mingyu leans back and the swing moves with him. 

Chuckling, he whispers into the dead of the night, “We’re so fucked.” 

Surprised, Wonwoo accidentally lets a noise of confusion escape. That’s the first time he’s heard Mingyu swear. 

Before he knows it, the pessimistic laughter is replaced by a bright one which Wonwoo recognizes. 

“Hyung! You should’ve seen your face!” Mingyu points at Wonwoo and he flushes. 

“Shut up,” he mutters, squeezing Mingyu’s hand in retaliation. 

However, as Wonwoo is admiring the smile he’d missed, it drops just as quick. 

Letting out a heavy sigh, Mingyu groans. 

“I should really get back to work,” Mingyu drawls, staring at the clouds. “But I don’t want to.” 

Wonwoo empathizes, having been on the receiving end of such dismals. 

“Gyu…” He starts, quiet. 

Mingyu faces back down at him and grimaces. “I know… I know, there’s no use complaining about it.” 

Slightly lifting their interlocked hands up, Wonwoo’s heart stutters at Mingyu’s pout and gesture. 

“Can we stay like this for a little longer though?” 

There’s probably a few other reasons why he’d broken down today, but if he doesn’t want to share then that’s fine with Wonwoo.

As long as he’s been some sort of help in calming Mingyu down, that’s enough. 

Nodding, Wonwoo bounces their hands up and down on Mingyu’s knee. 

They don’t talk, and Wonwoo brings his free hand up to trace random patterns on Mingyu’s other knee. 

To people passing by (thankfully, none so far), they must look like an odd pair. Wonwoo is still seated on dirt, and Mingyu has his back hunched to appear smaller. 

Mingyu breaks the silence with a jolt, causing Wonwoo to jerk along. “Shit, what time is it?” 

Checking his phone, Wonwoo’s eyes widen. Ten more minutes until the deadline.

“Oh fuck, sorry hyung - I have to go.” 

Standing up so Mingyu can move, Wonwoo takes one last glance at their hands and lets go. 

With outstretched arms, Wonwoo does the unthinkable and signals Mingyu to step inside. 

“Hyung? Are you sure?” 

He almost melts at Mingyu’s consideration. 

“Yeah, come on.” 

Mingyu wraps his arms around his neck and squeezes Wonwoo so tight he feels his lungs burst. 

(So does his heart.) 

Returning the gesture, he timidly places his hands on Mingyu’s waist. When Mingyu slides one hand down to the small of his back, Wonwoo nearly combusts. 

Weighing two options in his mind, he decides to throw every worry he has and fuck it.

Bringing a shaky hand to the back of Mingyu’s head, he audibly exhales before ruffling it. 

Mingyu stiffens, and Wonwoo considers pulling away when he feels a weight on his shoulder. 

Oh. Okay.

“Wonwoo hyung, thank you.” He hears Mingyu clearly even though he’s muffled by his sweater. 

Ruffling his hair and patting his back, Wonwoo hums. 

“Any time.” 

With one last squeeze, Mingyu detaches himself from Wonwoo and quickly looks away. 

Wonwoo pretends he hadn’t felt the wet stain on his shoulder the moment his hand ended up in Mingyu’s hair. 

“I have to go now…” Mingyu starts once he’s face to face with Wonwoo again. “Thank you for coming.” 

Wonwoo smiles, gives a thumbs up and one last ruffle. “Of course I came, you’d do the same.” 

When Mingyu returns the smile, shining less than he usually does, Wonwoo speaks again. 

“All the best for your presentation, Mingyu. I know you’ll do great.”

He has to stop himself from telling Mingyu how amazing he is, and how Wonwoo is always left in awe by him. 

Maybe another time. 

All the air in his lungs leave his body once more for a split second before he’s free and Wonwoo watches as Mingyu dashes off, yelling, “Thanks, hyung!” 

Wonwoo doesn’t even get the chance to hug back. 

* * *

Weeks later, he finds Mingyu waiting outside his class and discovers that it’s not just his emotional state that’s strong. 

“Put me down, Mingyu - what are you doing?” Wonwoo nearly shrieks, only stopping when he makes eye contact with all his classmates exiting the lecture hall.

Jihoon watches the whole thing unfold with a _smirk_ on his face, blatantly recording. Wonwoo flips him off from where he’s draped over Mingyu’s shoulder.

Attempting to look back from his position, he hits Mingyu’s back to get his attention instead. 

“Gyu? Are you okay? We’re in public...” 

Feeling Mingyu’s head turn, Wonwoo gives up on his reputation as _every single one_ of his classmates stop walking to stand a few metres away. They’re whispering to each other and Wonwoo can hear them. 

Gravity does its thing as he feels the ground beneath his feet again and he immediately turns to glare at Mingyu who only sheepishly says, “Whoops, sorry hyung.” 

But then the guilt (was there even any?) disappears as he lights up and Wonwoo thinks, _oh boy_. 

“We got an ‘A’ on our presentation!” Mingyu forgoes trying to be discreet - or maybe he never had any plans to be - as he all but shouts that out while shaking him in excitement. 

Having processed enough despite the dizziness, Wonwoo congratulates Mingyu with more enthusiasm than he’d intended. 

Ruffling his hair, Wonwoo can physically feel how wide his own grin is. “That’s awesome! I’m proud of you.” 

When he feels a squeeze, Wonwoo realizes Mingyu is still holding him and weakly pushes him away. 

Except Mingyu doesn’t get the memo and engulfs him in a giant hug instead and as he feels the sheer _relief_ , Wonwoo gives in. He deserves that much after all the stress it took to convince his group mates to edit their script. 

“Alright, alright, Gyu. You have class after this - we can meet later for dinner…” Wonwoo briefly goes through the amount of money he’s spent this week in his head and continues, “My treat.” 

Mingyu does him a favour and pushes him away for a force so strong he nearly knocks into Jihoon who’s still filming them. Wonwoo is gonna kill him once Mingyu is gone. 

“Seriously?!” Mingyu shouts, and Wonwoo eyes their surroundings warily at the volume, thankfully most of the students have dispersed. 

Chuckling at Mingyu’s excitement, he pats him on the arm - and oh, he’s been working out hasn’t he. 

“Yes, now get going or you’ll be late.” 

Once Mingyu scurries off to his next class, not forgetting to wave him goodbye, Wonwoo turns to glare at Jihoon. 

“Delete whatever you just took.” He scowls, pointing an accusing finger at Jihoon’s phone. 

Jihoon laughs like Wonwoo’s the funniest thing he’s seen all day and claps his hands. 

“No way.” He pockets his phone before Wonwoo can grab it and promptly walks off, telling him he’ll be late for his own class. 

“You don’t even have class at this time! You’re done for the day!” Wonwoo shouts, praying that Jihoon will _not_ send whatever blackmail material he has to anyone. Especially Soonyoung. 

Without even turning around, Jihoon yells back, “Bye Wonwoo!” 

He doesn’t respond after that and noisily heads to the library instead to kill time before Mingyu’s done with his last lecture. 

It’s only when he’s alone with his thoughts does Wonwoo recall how he’d been carried like he weighed nothing in an instant. Maybe he’ll start working out too. 

What puts him off more, however, is the fact that being carried by Mingyu wasn’t as bad as it should’ve been. If anyone else had done that, in public no less, Wonwoo would’ve killed them. 

He grunts at that discovery and chooses to get distracted by his phone. 

The decision is a bad one, Wonwoo soon realizes as he sees his new messages. They’re all from Soonyoung and he has the same texting habit as Mingyu which means… five messages that could’ve been in one. 

_**don’t reply**_  
_WONWOO?!!??!  
jihoon just sent me  
a VERY  
interesting  
VIDEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _

_**BFF!!!!!!**_  
_well im not interested soonyoung  
can you please learn to type like a normal person by the way_

 _ **don’t reply**_  
_i am  
NORMAL  
this is a  
personal preference  
anyway  
the video.  
WONWOO  
MINGYU????  
HE .  
over ur shoulder/??!?!? _

_**BFF!!!!!!**_  
_what are u even trying to say at this point_

 _ **don’t reply**_  
_im getting there  
!!!!!!  
icb u let him carry u like a BABY  
omg typed that  
in one line  
r u happy  
im gonna share that vid  
EVERYWHERE_

 ** _BFF!!!!!!_**  
_soonyoung.  
no._

 _ **don’t reply**_  
_ur not proud?/??_

 _ **BFF!!!!!!**_  
_what no  
yes i am keep up the good work  
but do NOT show anyone that video_

 ** _don’t reply_**  
_ok  
<3_

Despite knowing Soonyoung can’t see him, Wonwoo squints at his phone. He doesn’t believe he would let it go that easily. 

Debating between calling to vocally threaten him, or to just focus on getting his essay done, Wonwoo chooses the latter and decides to put some faith in his best friend. 

They’ve known each other for years, there’s no way Soonyoung would backstab him. He’s physically incapable of hurting anybody anyway. 

For the next ten minutes, his phone remains silent and unbuzzing, easing Wonwoo up a bit. See, Soonyoung is trustworthy after all. 

Nodding to himself, he pulls out his laptop and finally gets started on his assignment. It makes up fifty percent of his final grade at the end of the semester, so he has to start early. There’s no way he’s going to fuck himself over _again_ by leaving it to the last minute. 

Not to mention it’s due in February, their professor gave them plenty of time for a reason. Wonwoo is going to finish his first draft by today or _else_. 

Cracking his knuckles, he gets to work and plans his outline. The theme is ‘ _home_ ’, and Wonwoo stops short the moment he sees it.

Well fuck.

He’s more stumped than he thought he would be. 

He doesn’t know what home is anymore, now that he’s moved away from Changwon and rarely returns to visit. He doesn’t know what home is anymore, now that Soonyoung has moved out. 

While Wonwoo lists down a few possibilities, he feels his eyebrows furrow. Leaning back on the library chair, he sighs. 

_First draft my ass_ , he thinks. At this rate, he won’t even have an idea ready by the time Mingyu’s class is done in an hour. 

And he’s right. Because the moment he looks at the clock at the upper right hand corner of his laptop, it’s exactly five. 

All there is on his laptop screen is the word ‘Changwon’ and a random period he’d accidentally typed and forgot to delete. 

Wonwoo has three months to solidify his idea of home and even less to at least come up with something that resembles it so he has substance for his first draft. 

Groaning, he slams his laptop shut and scolds himself for wasting two precious hours away. He can’t even remember what he ended up doing. 

  


After picking Mingyu up from his lecture hall, they relocate to a diner close to the playground. 

Even though both of them have a driver’s license, they can’t afford a car so they make do with walking, which isn’t so bad. 

There’s no music and no heater that cars provide. But Wonwoo can listen to Mingyu chatter all day if he wants - it’s better than any music he’s heard and standing beside Mingyu who’s a literal furnace makes up for the lack of artificial heat. 

“ _And then_ ,” Mingyu excitedly goes on, physically shaking. “Minghao went up to the front and corrected our professor with actual facts and all that! It was so cool - Hao’s so cool.”

Laughing at Mingyu’s enthusiasm, Wonwoo orders on their behalf since he has their usuals memorized by now and goes back to listening to his rambles.

“Anyway…” Mingyu suddenly says, getting serious. “I really wanted to thank you for helping me that day, hyung.” 

“It’s not a problem at all. I’d be happy to help in any way possible.” 

At the mention of that night, Wonwoo’s eyes instinctively drift to Mingyu’s hands and he fights down a flush. 

_Stop thinking about holding your friend’s hand, Wonwoo._

“Seriously hyung, you don’t know how much you mean to me.” 

When the words register in Wonwoo’s head, he meets Mingyu’s eyes and _oh_. He looks so sincere, eyes wide sparkling and - 

Oh. 

Oh god. 

Swallowing nervously, Wonwoo attempts to come up with a response as quickly as possible because he doesn’t want Mingyu to misunderstand his silence as something else. 

“I-” 

Food appears on their table and Wonwoo breaks eye contact to glance at the waiter who sets their dishes down. 

Great. Extra thinking time. 

“Let’s eat.” 

That manages to come out naturally, at least. 

Eternally grateful that Mingyu prioritises food over everything else, Wonwoo accepts the silence from him to sort his thoughts out. 

Mingyu means a lot to him too, and it’s such a weird feeling - to want to make more shared memories with someone who he hasn’t even known that long. 

Sure, it’s been close to seven months since they first met at the playground but it always, _always_ feels like it’s been longer. 

He thinks about the spontaneous trips they make after their classes are done - when they’re coincidentally both free, or the times when Mingyu will text Wonwoo to meet at the playground just so they can look for rainbows together. 

Wonwoo thinks about the time Mingyu spammed him with pictures of a cat he’d randomly run into because he remembered they’re his favourite animal. There was a video attached and maybe Wonwoo ended up saving it. 

Whenever he hangs out with Mingyu, it’s undeniable how happy and giddy he gets. Even after he’s back in the empty apartment hours later, Wonwoo has caught himself grinning like a fool in the mirror before. 

With all that in mind, the minute they’re done with their meal, Wonwoo heads to the counter to pay. It is his treat after all, and Mingyu deserves it for working so hard. 

It must be a bit confusing to Mingyu since he hadn’t said anything yet, so Wonwoo immediately turns to Mingyu once they’re outside. 

Signalling with a tilt of his head, Wonwoo ensures Mingyu is aware before walking to the place where his legs can take him to even if he’s blindfolded. 

A particularly strong breeze hits both of them on the way and they sigh in unison. 

Chuckling, Wonwoo stuffs his hands into his coat pockets and gratefully squeezes his hot pack. 

Unlike him, Mingyu isn’t as bad when it comes to tolerating the cold so he simply walks with his hands by his side. 

Like it's second nature, Wonwoo leads them to the playground and brushes the snow off the swings. He can’t believe it’s already winter. 

Once they’re both seated on the swings, Wonwoo on the left and Mingyu on the right, he clears his throat. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he watches Mingyu start swinging, despite his fear of heights, it’s what he always does the moment his butt is on the seat. 

Kind of endearing, really - a six foot man packing with muscles on a swing, screaming whenever he gets too high up. 

Tearing his eyes away from Mingyu’s figure, he decides to get straight to the point while staring at the ground, “You mean a lot to me too, Mingyu.” 

Unfortunately, he’s forced to watch Mingyu anyway due to his _literal_ downfall as the wild and sudden movement catches his eye. 

His first order of business is to laugh and clap hysterically at the sight of Mingyu flying off the swing and then at the slumped body lying on dirt. 

It should be worrying, but Wonwoo steps closer to where Mingyu is sprawled on the ground and lets a giggle out. 

Poking his unmoving body, Wonwoo considers kicking him but decides against it. Mingyu’s coat is expensive, even though it’s already ruined.

“Gyu?” He prods at his side again, watching in amusement at how it elicits a groan.

With one last noise of displeasure, Mingyu pushes himself off the ground and winces at how dirty his clothes have become. Wonwoo only continues laughing.

“Are you alive now?” 

He glares at him for the joke and whines, “At least warn a man before you start the sentimental talk, Wonwoo hyung!”

“Sorry, sorry.” He says, although it doesn’t sound sincere at all since he’s still chuckling.

After calming himself down because Mingyu _really flew_ like that, he worries. 

“Did you break anything?” 

“Not that I’m aware of.” Mingyu grunts as he stands up, leaving Wonwoo to look up as he rises to full height.

A hand appears in front of him before he can move to stand up too and he blinks.

It’s Mingyu’s hand.

Realistically, he doesn’t need it. Wonwoo isn’t the one who landed on the damp ground after being pushed off by gravity. 

But Wonwoo’s hands are also freezing, and it would be a lie to say he hasn’t daydreamed about holding hands with Mingyu - properly, after the first time he did it as a way of providing comfort. 

So he grabs hold of it, marvelling at how warm his hand feels in the back of his head because he _can’t_ make this weird, and lets himself be tugged up. 

Except Mingyu seems to use more strength than necessary, because Wonwoo _flies_ (looks like he spoke too soon) and ends up hugging Mingyu who catches him. 

“Oops.” 

Someone could walk past any moment now, Mingyu’s flatmate and their friend - Seungkwan could walk past any moment now, they’re in public and not exactly hidden. 

Yet. 

Yet, Wonwoo gives in to temptation and wraps his arms around Mingyu’s back, pressing him closer.

He hears Mingyu ask in a soft voice as he places his chin on his shoulder, “hyung?” 

“Yeah?” Wonwoo mumbles back, watching the swing set sway from the never ending wind. 

Not needing to even look, Wonwoo knows the gears in Mingyu’s head are turning. He’s smarter than people give him credit for and for a whole second he thinks he’s been caught. 

But Mingyu is also the most oblivious person on the entire planet when it comes to people’s attraction to him. 

“Are you feeling alright?” 

Without waiting for his answer, Mingyu pushes him away, and Wonwoo’s heart falls. He thought Mingyu wouldn’t mind the hug, having seen him accept plenty of their friend’s affection easily and with open arms (literally). 

Not to mention they’ve shared a few hugs before, so confusion rises alongside fear. 

“Sorry- did- did that make you uncomfortable?” Wonwoo blurts out before Mingyu can speak again. He doesn’t feel so warm anymore. 

The hot pack does nothing to his cold hands and the difference between Mingyu’s open palm and the bag of warmth becomes obvious.

Shit, he’s so embarrassed. Wonwoo was certain that hugging would be okay. 

There’s a part of him that’s telling him to run, to get out of the situation as fast as possible but he digs his heels into the ground. 

That’s not how people resolve potential problems. 

Chewing on the inside of his cheek, Wonwoo wonders how he’s going to get out of this one. It’d be easy to brush it off, say something like he was cold - which he is, but he doesn’t want to lie either. 

_Lying to Mingyu was easier when he was lying to himself at the same time._

However, now that he’s certain about his feelings, about his goddamn stupid crush, Wonwoo doesn’t know what to do. 

“Hyung…” 

Wonwoo gulps, squeezing the hotpack tighter in his hand. It reminds him of the day Mingyu had walked him home (or well, one of the days) and he had his keys in his hand. 

Mingyu always seems to leave Wonwoo struggling, mind going haywire as he holds his breath wondering what he’ll say next. 

“It’s definitely okay, I know you get cold easily - I was just caught off guard.” 

At the touch of a hand on his chin, tilting it up, Wonwoo nearly gasps. With Mingyu’s hand forcing him to make eye contact with him, Wonwoo tries hard to fight a blush down. 

From the way his cheeks feel impossibly warm and the way his ears feel like they’re on actual fire, Wonwoo assumes that plan failed. 

God, why does Mingyu have to have such sparkly eyes? In fact, why does Mingyu happen to have it _all_? From good looks, to nice manners, to a stunning personality - Wonwoo thinks it’s not fair. 

Desperately, he attempts to avert his eyes, but Mingyu’s grip is strong, and Wonwoo probably doesn’t want to move away as much as he thinks he does. 

“Hyung,” He breathes out, and Wonwoo is going to lose his mind from how close they’re standing. “Do you want to hug again?” 

“Your coat will get mine dirty.” Wonwoo doesn’t think before answering and he wants to slap himself. 

It’s so typical of his brain to come up with witty shit that instantly kills the mood. 

Mingyu starts laughing, almost maniacally and steps back. His hand drops from the gentle hold it had on his chin and Wonwoo misses it immediately. 

“Okay, we can hug next time then, when we’re in clean clothes.” Mingyu smiles, bright like the sun in the sky, and it’s just… nice. 

His smile is nice, outstanding, showstopping, and well - Wonwoo could write an entire essay on Mingyu and his stupid, endearing grin. 

He likes being around Mingyu so much, it’s like when cats take their naps on spots where the sun shines. 

(It’s obvious who’s what.)

Except Wonwoo wants to do so much more than just nap with Mingyu, as much as cuddling in this cold weather sounds heavenly. 

There’s always that _urge_ \- and it becomes stronger day by day - to hold his hand, to reach out and ruffle his hair, to step closer and engulf him in a big hug. 

To hold his cheeks and kiss Mingyu until they’re out of breath, to feel their legs tangled together under the sheets, to wake up with Mingyu in bed, to going on dates at the most cliche places. 

Wonwoo wants to do so many things with Mingyu - and it _hurts_ , knowing that they _can_ but it won’t be seen the same. He’d consider it a date or couple thing in his head like a fool, while Mingyu will only see it as platonic because he’s so open with affection. 

Great. Now he’s sad. 

“You’re frowning.” 

“Huh?” 

He snaps out of his private bubble in his head and looks at Mingyu who has concern written all over his face. 

Mingyu opens his arms up, and Wonwoo watches the movement in disbelief. “Hyung, come here.” 

“Your clothes-” He starts, wondering why he’s even trying to come up with an excuse to run away when he _wants_ this. 

Promptly, Mingyu gets rid of his coat and Wonwoo can feel his mouth drop open. It’s December, what the hell is he doing, thinking he’ll survive in a hoodie? 

“Mingyu, what the fuck? Put your coat back on!” 

“No - _hug_. My hoodie is clean.” As if to prove his point, Mingyu pats his hoodie and Wonwoo wants to scream at Mingyu for being _too much_. 

How is he supposed to not fall for him?

Wonwoo wonders how all his other friends didn’t, when Mingyu is literally perfect and wow- as pathetic as it is, he might actually start crying. 

Mingyu flaps his arms up and down, still spread wide and pouts. “Hug me or else I’m gonna die from hypothermia, hyung.” 

“Fuck, you’re unbelievable.” 

Shaking his head, Wonwoo steps inside and relaxes once arms wrap around his waist. Mingyu squeezes him so hard, he thinks his heart is going to pop right out. 

(Or maybe it’s because of how much he loves it, _this_ \- the way his body heats up immediately, and how comfortable it feels.) 

They stay like that for a few minutes, to his embarrassment, and Mingyu only lets go because he’s shivering. 

“Is it already in the negatives? I can’t stand this.” Mingyu mumbles to himself - a habit Wonwoo noticed a week after being around him. 

Instantly he feels bad for making Mingyu take off his coat. 

“You don't have to frown so hard, hyung - I did it ‘cause I wanted to.” 

He opens his mouth to dispute, only to have it closed for him. 

“Shush, now let’s go to my place and I’ll make you some tea.” He places his finger on Wonwoo’s lips and he almost falls down from flinching so hard.

Laughing at his reaction, Mingyu stands in front of Wonwoo all of a sudden and goes to a half squat. 

“Gyu? What are you doing?” 

“Piggyback ride, free of charge.” 

“But your bag…” 

“Carry it for me then, I’ll do all the work by carrying you.” Mingyu insists, already slipping his tote bag off his shoulder without waiting for his response. 

Wonwoo eyes the black bag, thinking of possible reasons why he shouldn’t go along with Mingyu’s spontaneous antics. 

The only one that stands out, in a large neon sign in his brain is ‘ _because you’ll only fall for him harder_.’

That doesn’t really matter though, since every little thing Mingyu does manages to make him swoon internally like he’s in high school all over again. 

Eventually, he comes to a conclusion and shrugs, trying to appear nonchalant as if Mingyu giving him a piggyback ride isn’t life threatening at all. “Fine.” 

“Yay!” Mingyu cheers, like he’s the one getting carried and gestures for Wonwoo to get on. 

It still surprises him how easily he gets lifted off the ground and he grunts, wrapping his arms around Mingyu to ensure he doesn’t fall off and die. 

The totebag refuses to cooperate so Wonwoo is forced to focus on that instead of the otherwise pleasant short journey to Mingyu’s place. 

He slides off the moment they reach the lift lobby to avoid strange looks from the residents and hands Mingyu his bag. 

“Thanks.” Wonwoo pats Mingyu on the back, not really sure why he’s thanking him.

“I should be thanking you, hyung, that really warmed me up.” 

“That’s good.”

And the conversation ends there. They ride the elevator in a peaceful quiet and Wonwoo tries to collect his thoughts. 

“Hey Mingyu,” He calls out, once they’re inside and he’s seated on Mingyu’s sofa. 

Mingyu is busy brewing tea, and Wonwoo hates how he _remembers_ the fact that he likes leaf water. Wonwoo needs to learn how to make a good hot chocolate soon, so he can repay the favour. 

“Hm?” 

“Thank you.” 

“Again? Or for the tea? You don’t have to thank me for simple things like that, hyung.” Mingyu appears in his line of sight, holding onto two mugs. 

One of them has a cat on it, and he instantly recalls the day Mingyu surprised him with it the first time he visited and actually spent more than five minutes in his apartment. 

(“You really like cats, right? So I got you this mug to use whenever you come over!”

“What makes you so sure I’ll be coming here often enough to use it?

“Too bad! Now you _have_ to spend more time here. I bought a mug for you.”) 

He gratefully grabs it, a small smile on his lips at the design. It’s a cute cat. 

“Not really. I don’t know, just felt like saying it.” Wonwoo struggles, blowing at his tea in an attempt to cool it down in lieu of seeing Mingyu’s reaction to his inability to speak. 

Normally, Wonwoo can do a pretty good job at articulating and getting his point across. Whenever he’s with Mingyu though, it’s like he loses ten brain cells each minute. 

Quite literally, Mingyu renders him speechless. 

Humming, Mingyu doesn’t push it and does the same to his tea. They don’t talk much after that, choosing to binge movies until Wonwoo has to leave before it starts snowing again. 

Leaning against the wall, Wonwoo pays Mingyu’s dissecting gaze no mind as he slips on his shoes, double checking to make sure he has everything even though he didn’t touch his bag at all. 

“Hyung.” 

Still rummaging through his shit, he lets out a noise of acknowledgement. 

“Wonwoo hyung.” Mingyu says again, sounding urgent and Wonwoo looks up to see what the matter is. 

Narrowing his eyes to get a sense of the atmosphere, he observes the way Mingyu plays with the sleeves of his hoodie. He’s cute. 

But he’s doing it because he’s nervous, and Wonwoo patiently waits for Mingyu to continue. 

He follows the movement of his Adam's apple as he gulps. 

“Gyu?” Wonwoo prompts, worried by the silence that’s unlike their usual comfortable one. 

Sighing, Mingyu pushes himself off the wall and shakes his head. 

“Never mind, text me when you’re home. Stay safe, hyung.” He’s waving before Wonwoo has even made a move to leave. 

That’s definitely not what he wanted to say. 

“Mingyu-” 

“Hyung.” 

This time, it’s a warning. Mingyu is begging Wonwoo to drop it, so he bites his tongue and steps back, closer to the door. 

Slowly, like he’s approaching a wild animal, he opens his mouth again, hoping Mingyu realizes he’s not going to talk about whatever just occurred. 

Like he can understand, Mingyu nods, asking him to go on. Wonwoo gets over his shock quickly, the way they’ve had so many unspoken agreements should be enough for him to accept that they’re excellent at reading each other by now. 

“About earlier - when I said thank you,” he adds on, seeing the way Mingyu grimaces, “It’s about a lot of things, really, but most importantly - I wanted to thank you for going after me that night and never giving up on me even though I’m the worst at… you know. I appreciate it.” 

There’s a bunch of other things Wonwoo wishes he could tell Mingyu. But he cuts his speech short, he isn’t going to confess so better not make it seem like one. 

“Oh.”

Snorting - he can’t help it, Mingyu’s reactions are always priceless, he feels a grin forming. 

“Yes, oh.” He teases, enjoying the way Mingyu’s face scrunches up. 

“ _Hyung_ ,” Mingyu whines, flailing his arms in the air like a big baby, “I told you - you can’t go sentimental on me without any warning!” 

“I did warn you though, I thought we were on the same page.” He laughs, referring to their signals. 

“I thought you were gonna say bye.” Mingyu huffs, pouting. 

Cooing, Wonwoo can’t help it as he steps closer and runs a hand through Mingyu’s hair. He’s feeling brave today. 

Without warning (who’s the one who doesn’t do that again?), he gets pulled into a hug and Wonwoo melts into it. 

If they keep doing this, he might get addicted to Mingyu’s hugs. 

They’re cozy. Mingyu’s cozy. 

“I’m glad it was you whom I saw that day, on the swings.” Mingyu mumbles into his hair, and his heart startles at the action. 

That’s very domestic of him. 

(Almost like they’re a couple.)

“I’m glad you were the one who found me unconscious too.”

“Very bad habit, by the way, hyung.” He still has his face pressed in Wonwoo’s hair. 

Chuckling, he playfully hits Mingyu’s back. 

“That’s why we go on walks together, so you can stop me from passing out randomly.” 

This causes Mingyu to laugh as well, and they giggle in each other’s arms for a while. Wonwoo sighs at how comfortable it is, and then at how it’ll never be permanent. 

None of the fleeting touches will ever be a _thing_ between them. They’ll stay fleeting, and Wonwoo frowns at that thought. 

Patting his back one last time, Wonwoo is the first to pull away this time. 

“You did well, Mingyu. I have to go now, but I’ll see you next time.” 

Suddenly, Mingyu grabs his hand and intertwines their fingers, causing Wonwoo to flush so hard he doesn’t even have the time to stop it from happening. 

“Text me when you’re home, okay?” He looks genuinely concerned, and Wonwoo falls again, he falls _all over again_ for Mingyu who never fails to surprise him with his actions. 

Squeezing Mingyu’s hand, he smiles. 

“Sure, bye Gyu.”

He slips his hand out from Mingyu’s gentle hold, and keeps his face neutral at the loss. _Conceal, don’t feel_ as a wise lady once said. 

Before Wonwoo can get his heart shattered and revived at the same time again, he turns away and leaves. 

The goodnight text he receives after he’s done with his shower when he’s back causes a smile that doesn’t drop until he’s deep asleep. 

His dreams let him imagine what it’s like to have Mingyu as his _boyfriend_ and Wonwoo wakes up the next day with an ache in his heart. 

  


Liking someone sucks, Wonwoo decides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to the people who made it to the end of this chapter, i hope you have a good day! n__n


	5. sweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "i adore you,"

Wonwoo may seem like he doesn’t cry at all, but the reality is that he does. Especially from stress. 

So he doesn’t know why he’s inside Soonyoung’s apartment holding onto a plastic cup filled with alcohol. 

He should be at home - Wonwoo cringes at the word, trying to rewrite his first draft. Instead of that, though, he’s tucked in the corner of the living room watching people mingle together. 

It’s a new year’s party and birthday party for Joshua combined. Recalling how tiny Seungcheol and Jeonghan’’s apartment is, it makes sense as to why it’d be held here. 

What doesn’t make sense however, is what _he’s_ still doing here. He had arrived with Hansol, but the boy has long disappeared and Wonwoo can’t locate anyone he recognizes. 

Half the people in Soonyoung’s apartment aren’t even their friends, at least not that he knows of. 

Where the hell did all of them come from? 

Sighing into his cup but refusing to drink the contents because he has no clue what’s in it, Wonwoo pulls out his phone only to frown at the blank screen.

Right. His phone had died an hour ago. 

Soonyoung had somehow roped him into attending, but he didn’t even greet Wonwoo when he came in. 

It’s not the best time for Wonwoo to socialise, he’s been in a certain mood lately and the slightest thing manages to set him off.

Does his unhappiness happen to do with his assignment due? Perhaps. 

His professor’s email flashes through his mind for the nth time that night and he chews on the edge of the plastic cup. 

_Fuck_.

Think happy thoughts, he reminds himself, slamming his head back against the wall. Nobody might be paying attention to him but Wonwoo is not going to have a breakdown at a stupid party he doesn’t even want to be at. 

If it had just been a small gathering with all their friends, maybe he’d be able to get some happiness before diving back into work. 

Unfortunately, it’s the opposite and he’s stuck here until midnight or some shit. 

Wait.

He doesn’t have to stay, actually.

Technically, he can leave - Hansol is the only one who saw him anyway, he’ll probably be too wasted to remember by the time Soonyoung and Seokmin chase the random people away. 

Even though it’s fucking freezing outside, he _can_ walk home. He blanches at the word once more. 

Fuck a home. 

His professor was right. 

Once he’s back in the quiet of his apartment, he can relax, drink some tea and think about his assignment tomorrow. 

There’ll be no bass boosted music, no voices to drown out, no drunk people bumping into him when he’s literally pressed against the wall - nobody to bother him. 

Wonwoo nods to himself, confirming his plan. 

He’ll message Joshua, asking him to meet up another time. Wonwoo can spend the last hours of New Year’s Eve alone - that’s ideal, really. 

So he looks at his cup and shrugs. It’s only one, and he’s not driving. 

It tastes like shit, but it does an even better job at killing the noise around him so he lets it flow down his throat. 

Crushing the cup, Wonwoo briefly wonders if that’s environmentally friendly before tossing it into the big trash bag by the kitchen counter. 

The place already looks like a nasty mess, and he adds that to the list of reasons why he shouldn’t stick around.

Soonyoung will definitely force him into cleaning the place up if he stays. Still, he feels a twinge of guilt for leaving without saying anything. He hates disappointing people, although that seems to be all Wonwoo does lately. 

Whatever, he’s already fucked up the one thing he was supposed to be good at, might as well ruin the rest of his life. 

Grabbing his coat from Soonyoung’s room, he puts it on and slides out the front door, not even bothering to turn back. 

While waiting for the lift, he thinks about Mingyu. 

Aside from school, the impending doom of deadlines and his inability to do well, his mind is constantly plagued by thoughts of him. 

Earlier, when he was braving the cold and walking to Soonyoung’s place, Wonwoo saw a dog and got _excited_. 

He’s a cat person through and _through_ \- yet he snapped a discrete picture of the fluffy thing, and immediately sent it to Mingyu. 

Reminded of that, Wonwoo hopes he’s seen it. The German Shepherd (he knows that much) really reminded him of Mingyu. 

Every big dog he sees reminds Wonwoo of him, if he’s being honest. Despite his past fear, Wonwoo has started growing fonder and fonder of them and it’s a little concerning. 

The elevator doors open and he steps aside, seeing someone getting out. 

His plans go down the drain after that. 

“Wonwoo hyung?”

Startled, he glances up from where he’d be glaring at the floor - still bothered by his thoughts (the negative ones) and gapes. 

It’s Mingyu. 

Like, Kim Mingyu in the flesh and not in his daydreams. 

“Mingyu?” He asks to be certain that it’s him and not some hologram. 

A chuckle echoes throughout the hallway and Wonwoo confirms it - Mingyu is real and in front of him. 

“You weren’t already inside?” Wonwoo questions, gathering his senses back together to form words. 

Mingyu shakes his head, hair bouncing with the movement and Wonwoo’s mind goes blank. He looks so cute when his hair isn’t gelled up. 

“Hyung, were you just about to leave?” 

“Uh…” 

Well, he clearly didn’t plan his escape out well enough. He didn’t think anybody would notice him leave, Wonwoo didn’t expect someone to see him go from the outside. 

He’s going to end up disappointing Mingyu. 

Swallowing even though his throat feels dry, he plays with the sleeves of his coat and nods. 

A part of Wonwoo wants Mingyu to leave it as that and walk away into the party, while another part of him - the more selfish side, wants Mingyu to be concerned. 

He fucking hates it. 

It feels like he’s begging for attention, so Wonwoo represses that part of him until it’s gone and musters a smile. 

“I have to work on my assignment, my professor said it was shit so…” 

“I’ll come with you.” 

“What?”

Mingyu presses the button of the elevator, seeing as it had gone down during their conversation and Wonwoo frowns, openly showing his displeasure.

He nudges Mingyu’s side, forcing him to look at him, “Mingyu, no. You came to have fun right? You don’t have to…” 

Cursing in his head for ending a sentence that’s supposed to sound convincing so weakly, he hopes his glare is enough to send Mingyu scurrying into Soonyoung’s apartment. 

“I can’t have fun knowing you’ll be by yourself on New Year’s Eve, hyung.” 

“Sor-” 

“Don’t apologize, you’re not at fault.” Mingyu cuts him off, tapping him on the shoulder to inform him the elevator is here and Wonwoo lets himself be dragged in. 

“But…” Fuck, he feels so bad. 

“Hyung, look at me?” 

When he asks, in such a soft voice like that, how can Wonwoo do anything else?

He huffs, tearing his eyes away from the numbers above the door as they descend and at Mingyu’s face. 

“I’m looking.” Wonwoo declares, raising a brow because Mingyu hasn’t said anything and it’s getting awkward _and_ he won’t be able to keep his blush at bay for long. 

Despite hanging out so many times, Wonwoo still manages to get flustered by Mingyu, it’s so annoying. 

It’s annoying but he likes it - the idea of being able to feel such emotions after a long time. Having a crush on someone is both a blessing and a curse. 

Hands cup his cheeks and Wonwoo lets out a squeak at the sudden warmth that envelops his face. 

“Mingyu?” He attempts to ask although it comes out as, “Minfu?” 

Wonwoo is very certain that Mingyu is going to give him a heart attack, with how he’s holding his face in his hands and how close they’re standing even though the elevator is huge. 

Bringing a hand to wrap around Mingyu’s wrist, Wonwoo squeezes it, hoping the slight pain will wake him up from his sudden possession. 

All of a sudden, right before they hit the first floor, Mingyu leans in even closer and whispers, “I’ll go wherever you choose to go.” 

And then the elevator chimes and the doors open, causing Mingyu to break out of whatever spell he was in and walk out like he hadn’t just murdered Wonwoo. 

Stumbling out like he’s drunk, Wonwoo is sure he imagined whatever the fuck that was. 

The moment they step out of the apartment complex, cold air blasts them directly in the face and Wonwoo closes his eyes. 

He knows it’s normal for the temperature to drop through the night but that doesn’t make it any better for his eternally chilly body. 

Maybe walking back is a bad idea. Wonwoo seems to have a lot of those lately. 

A hand knocks against his and he lets out a noise of confusion as he glances down. 

It’s Mingyu’s hand. 

“It’s cold, Wonwoo hyung.” 

“Hypothermia again?” 

“That’s right.” 

Thankful that Mingyu gives him excuses to share body warmth, he gladly holds Mingyu’s hand and hopes the way his heart flutters doesn’t show on his face. 

Almost naturally, their fingers interlock and Wonwoo nearly slips on the icy pathway at the sensation. 

Mingyu gasps, and Wonwoo’s eyes follow the direction in which his head is pointed towards. 

The sky. He’s looking at the sky and Wonwoo can understand why after he focuses on it too.

There’s one, then there are two more, and then there are _a lot more_ as he scans the area. 

Despite Seoul’s light pollution, there are a bunch of stars (or planets, he never got into astronomy like he wanted to) shining in the sky. Some twinkle while others remain still - either way, it’s a pretty sight. 

“You don’t see this every night, do you?” Mingyu mutters to himself, hand gripping Wonwoo’s a little tighter. 

He nods in affirmation, turning his head to look at Mingyu because he wants to say something but gets the words caught in his throat.

Stars can’t compare to Mingyu’s beauty. 

Wonwoo loves it, he loves the unhidden admiration Mingyu has for nature, for the littlest things a normal person would usually see and turn away at. 

He loves the way Mingyu always stops to point out something that catches his eye, and Wonwoo adores the way he gets bright eyed after capturing it on his phone or camera. 

Untangling the knot in his throat, he asks, “do you want to take a picture?” 

“Nah, it’s fine - they won’t show up on my phone.” 

Mingyu has the latest model - an iPhone 11, he’s sure. Unless Apple is scamming people out of their money (they are), he should be able to capture even the finest details. 

Before Wonwoo can point that out, Mingyu continues. 

“Guess I’ll have to ingrain this moment into my memory so I never forget it.” 

Sometimes, Mingyu is confusing. Sometimes, Wonwoo wants to believe that Mingyu is leading him on for a reason. Sometimes, Wonwoo wonders if he’s reading too much between the lines when there’s nothing there. 

Sometimes, he just wants to let everything out. Because it’d be easier - certainty is nice, and Wonwoo would appreciate it. 

However, it could go wrong. He could ruin a friendship, a special one which he’ll probably never get with anybody again, so Wonwoo keeps his mouth shut. 

He keeps it shut and tosses wishful thinking away, only to welcome it back when he’s laying in bed and allowing himself to dream. 

“That’s sweet.” Wonwoo responds, after a beat of silence. _You’re sweet_ , he wants to say. 

They resume walking after that, Mingyu filling in the silence with his chatter and Wonwoo helps out this time, though it’s with the clacking of his teeth. 

It’s so fucking cold, but he keeps his shivers in so Mingyu doesn’t notice. Wonwoo’s torn between wanting attention and avoiding it. 

  


When they reach the playground, Wonwoo realizes they’ve walked past Mingyu’s apartment. 

“We just walked past your building, Gyu.” 

“I’m going wherever you go, remember?” 

The full body shiver that happens is not because of the weather. 

“Woah hyung, did you just tremble? Here-” Mingyu’s grip on his hand loosens and Wonwoo pouts. 

Mingyu laughs, all up in his face and Wonwoo watches as he unravels his scarf. 

Oh. Oh no, he’s not.

“Mingyu, no. You’ll fall sick.” 

“Mingyu yes.” 

“Gyu, no.” 

“Gyu yes, and you can’t stop me.” Mingyu sing songs, wrapping the scarf around Wonwoo before he can protest any further and the warmth he feels is instantaneous. 

Melting into it, Wonwoo buries his face in Mingyu’s scarf and chides himself for accepting it too easily. 

Fuck you, he scolds himself back. It’s freezing. 

“Thanks.” 

“Of course hyung, can’t have you dying on me!” Mingyu cheerfully exclaims, pulling Wonwoo towards the swings. 

Again, he lets himself get dragged along. 

But before they reach the swingset, Mingyu abruptly changes course and walks towards the playground instead. The theme is a house, Wonwoo suddenly notices. 

Instantly, he’s reminded of his draft, his professor’s words and his lack of home. 

“Hyung, let’s go up.” 

Eyeing the small space, he grumbles out a complaint, “we won’t fit.” 

“Never know until you try!” 

When he sees Mingyu’s giant smile, he relents and walks up the tiny stairs together with him. They settle on the small space and as soon as Mingyu starts giggling, Wonwoo finds himself laughing along. 

“We look ridiculous.” Wonwoo snorts. 

Their hands are still interlocked and Wonwoo never wants to let go. 

“Hyung,” Mingyu breathes out into the dead of the night, condensation following. “Do you wanna talk about it?” 

He freezes up. 

“Talk about what?” 

It’s a genuine question, because having someone ask if you want to talk about _it_ , without specifying what _it_ is, is in fact - horrifying. 

Has Mingyu noticed his feelings for him? 

His thumb rubs circles on his hand and Wonwoo slumps against the plastic wall of the house. The gesture is soothing, and he relaxes without needing to force himself to. 

“About how you look like you’ve wanted to cry for a while now.” 

He hears a sharp inhale, and realizes it’s from himself. 

Hit the nail on the head, Kim Mingyu. 

Does he? Does Wonwoo want to discuss the thoughts that have manifested in his mind for weeks now, ever since he had to work on that stupid essay? Does Wonwoo want to tell Mingyu about the deeper parts of himself, the parts that Soonyoung had to find out the hard way? 

Does Wonwoo want to let him in, is the unspoken question. 

Clenching his free hand into a fist, he lets his nails dig crescents into his palm. 

“Do you want to hear me talk about it?” 

“I’ll listen to everything and anything you have to say, hyung. Rain or shine.” He responds immediately, shocking Wonwoo a bit. 

“It’s a lot to take in.”

“I have time, and a space reserved solely for you in my heart.” 

If those words aren’t enough, Mingyu _smiles_ \- sincere, soft. He smiles at Wonwoo like he’s the best damn thing in the universe and it kills him. 

It kills Wonwoo because he wants to know what Mingyu sees in him when lately, he’s been frowning at the mere thought of himself. 

Slowly, he exhales a long breath, sorting his chaotic brain in order. Where does he even begin? 

“Okay.” It’s a lot easier to agree than he had initially assumed, having wondered about the exact scenario a million times before.

In his imaginary world, Mingyu ends up leaving him behind. 

But when he saw Mingyu’s smile, Wonwoo felt a burst of confidence, that maybe it wouldn’t result in a nightmare. 

So he talks. 

He talks about how he was an outcast in middle school, how it affected him - how much pain it caused to be isolated from everyone when all he wanted to do was make friends and talk about video games. 

Wonwoo tells Mingyu how it’s nothing like in television shows. They never mention the part where you’re the last person to get chosen for any group activity, they never mention what it’s like eating lunch alone in the classroom while everyone goes outside to play or chat with their friends. 

Television shows never told him that his neighbour who was the same age as him never cared about him until he was forced to by his mother. They never said liking things and openly enjoying them would get him to the bottom of the caste. 

It was only middle school, but it felt like three years of hell for Wonwoo, who had decided then that he’d never express interest in anything again, lest the same happen in high school.

He never really let go of video games or books though, because he’d be a fool to take away his minute happiness and only getaway after school. Wonwoo went about his first year as the plain and average student nobody spared a second glance at. 

But it was better. It was better than being everyone’s last choice. In high school, he was neutral, people treated him like air and not like dirt. Soonyoung even started talking to him again, after the years of silence since elementary school. 

The way he treated Wonwoo was more natural, and seemed less forced than it used to be. He was so glad to have someone by his side again that he erased all the negative memories Soonyoung caused, only bringing it up when they turned into adults.

High school was boring and his life was uneventful, but he did find his passion. Reading soon overpowered gaming and Wonwoo would find himself in the school’s library after hours just to read. And then, in his second year, he started writing. 

It was thrilling, being able to come up with his own story - a universe of his own. He never let his characters feel unnecessary pain, having gone through it and it made _him_ happy, seeing their happiness as fake as it was. 

The toughest part of his teenage years was coming to terms with the fact that he was going to disappoint his parents. 

When Wonwoo started researching on writing majors online, he noticed how underappreciated graduates were, and worried about whether his parents would let him do what he wanted. 

They never mentioned anything about wanting him to be a doctor, or lawyer. They were lenient, never forcing Wonwoo to go out of his comfort zone.

But he could never tell what _anyone_ was thinking unless they told him directly because he hates assuming more than anything. 

The first time he cried in front of another person was when Soonyoung caught him in the midst of a breakdown. Having reached their third year at that time, the stress was piling up and university options were getting thrown at the dinner table every night. Majors that he would never consider doing were suggested and all Wonwoo could do was stay silent. 

In their few years of friendship, minus the part where he’d ignored Wonwoo, he let his guard down. 

He _wailed_ , hiccuping his answers out as he told Soonyoung about his future plans - about what he wanted to do and about how he was so, _so_ scared. 

Even though he hit his growth spurt by then and was taller than Soonyoung, Wonwoo never felt smaller.

Somehow, they managed to convince his parents to let him move to Seoul alongside Soonyoung where he’d attend university, majoring in literature. 

In his eighteen years of living, Wonwoo had never asked for anything from his parents until that day where he begged for their permission. 

His mother had been overjoyed to see her son show interest in something, while his father’s face immediately went stiff. Wonwoo knew he never truly got his father’s approval. 

And it was like a blow to the gut, when he realized that after celebrating with Soonyoung and he was laying in bed, thinking. 

He was a disappointment. 

It was okay though, he never saw that man’s face again since Wonwoo rarely went back to Changwon. 

It stemmed from fear. 

He was afraid of what they’d ask, he was afraid of his own answers. If they questioned him, wondering whether he was enjoying his major, how would they react if he said no?

A wasted opportunity, they’d surely think.

So he never went back, facetiming his mother whenever he could instead and making up excuses. Weakly smiling at the phone was better than having to put up a front. 

The fact that he could never be sure of himself, whenever he asked the same question every day irritated him the most.

Did Wonwoo fail his father’s unspoken expectations for nothing? Did he cause tension between himself and his parents for no reason? Was it all on a whim? 

He just never failed to disappoint - really. 

“And now - I’ve even let my professor down.” He lets out a shaky laugh, recalling the email he’d received.

> _‘Your writing style seems to have changed, for the worst. This is not a kid’s story, the theme is significant, please pay attention to it or you won’t do well, Jeon._
> 
> _Your soul is not in it. You can do better._
> 
> _Send me an edited version by the new year. I advise rethinking what home is to you.’_

“That professor really liked my stuff when I was a first year. He told me I was going to hit it big. Hearing this… hearing that from him… I don’t know what to do anymore.” He quietly mumbles after everything.

Fiddling with his fingers, Wonwoo avoids Mingyu’s burning gaze and chooses to stare at the holes in the playground platform. 

Luckily he hasn’t started to cry. With Soonyoung it was easier for his tears to fall. Now, all Wonwoo feels is _numb_. 

There’s a part of him that is horrified at what Mingyu might say but the other remains silent, like whatever happens won’t affect him. 

As he counts the seconds in his head, Wonwoo waits. He can’t even think about what the outcome might be. 

When Mingyu speaks after two minutes, he realizes how wrong he was. 

Because of the four words he hears- that resonate in his mind like a bell being struck, Wonwoo feels tears form without much trouble. 

“I’m proud of you.” 

_I’m proud of you_ , he repeats internally. 

Nobody - not even his own parents when he’d worked hard and scored well for his tests, said that to him. His mother didn’t tell him that when he found something he wanted to do, even though she was happy. 

In complete disbelief, Wonwoo’s eyes shift away from the platform to stare at Mingyu, searching for any signs of a joke. 

Based on the shy smile Mingyu is flashing him mixed with the concern written all over his face, it’s real. 

And _that_ gets Wonwoo to _really_ cry. 

His throat closes up and begins to burn, his nose does the _thing_ and his bottom lip trembles. With a broken exhale, he tries to regulate his breathing in a futile attempt to prevent the tears from falling. 

It doesn’t work. Before long, Wonwoo’s vision starts to blur and he has to bite down on his lip to stop it from shaking so much. 

Crying really sucks. 

There’s so many things he wants to tell Mingyu - mainly apologies for putting him in the awkward position of having to watch Wonwoo breakdown. 

Instead of “I’m sorry,” what comes out is a broken whine and Wonwoo cries even harder. 

Following the train of thought where he can’t do _anything_ right, even though it’s normal to find it tough to speak when you’re choking up - Wonwoo begins an onslaught of insults to himself in his mind.

_You’re twenty three years old and upset? Pathetic._

_Stop crying, stop crying, stop crying_ , he repeats to himself like a mantra.

Fuck, he really hates himself right now. 

It’d been _so long_ since he’d cried from stress, Wonwoo can’t stop the mess on his face even though he’s trying his best. 

Squeezing his fists, Wonwoo realizes he’s still holding Mingyu’s hand and he feels him squeeze back, lighter. He chokes back a sob.

It hurts.

 _Everything_ hurts and his ears are ringing, he can’t see Mingyu’s face clearly because of the tears in his eyes and on his glasses. 

Wonwoo can only feel the pain. 

Somehow, that’s worse. 

“Wonwoo hyung.” 

Slow movements on his hand and the soft call of his name from Mingyu causes him to let out a noise, acknowledging. 

“I’m going to hug you now.” 

In his mind, Wonwoo says _please_.

What manages to come out of his mouth is a whole different story though. 

“N-No way, I have- I’m-” Wonwoo gives up speaking a proper sentence because he won’t stop hiccuping so he gestures to his face instead. 

He feels his glasses being taken off his face and squints on instinct - causing more tears to fall. 

At the very least, they’ve stopped forming. 

All he has to do is breathe normally again and then Wonwoo can pretend the whole thing never happened and that he didn’t just pour his heart out to Mingyu.

(Unless- )

Except, all his plans seem to be doomed to fail today, because Wonwoo feels himself being tugged forward until his legs are over Mingyu’s thighs and they’re _close_.

From this distance, he can see Mingyu’s smile without needing his glasses. And it’s - it’s _nice_. 

Mingyu is so sweet, and Wonwoo feels his heart calm down a little more just by looking at him. And just from his hand in his, Wonwoo feels better. 

He’s still gasping pretty hard though. 

“Can I hug you anyway?” 

His heart stutters in his chest and it’s beating faster than usual again. This time, it isn’t because he’s sad.

Mingyu wants to hug him even though he looks like shit with tear streaks on his cheeks and snot everywhere. 

Sensing words still won’t work, Wonwoo chooses to nod once, letting himself relax in the embrace that readily follows.

With Mingyu’s hand on his back, patting him lightly and the other still interlocked in his, Wonwoo presses his cheek onto Mingyu’s shoulder, feeling comfortable.

“I would wipe the tear streaks away and stuff, like they do in those movies you love watching, but I don’t think my hands are clean.” Mingyu suddenly says into his hair, and Wonwoo lets out a short laugh.

At the sensation of Mingyu’s grin against his hair, Wonwoo gets reminded of all the daydreams he’s had - imagining this. 

Though those daydreams are usually less sad and involve even lesser tears. 

Closing his eyes, Wonwoo tells himself it’ll only be for a while - a few seconds. He just needs a moment to think. 

Although that clearly hasn’t been the best of ideas lately, he needs to clear his head. 

His head remains blank however, when he feels Mingyu carding fingers through his hair and he frowns.

And as fast as the frown had appeared, it drops.

Like getting struck by thunder, Wonwoo realizes. 

He _realizes_ -

He realizes that it’s Mingyu. For the longest time, Wonwoo was struggling when the answer to all his worries was _right_ in front of him. His _answers_ were there all along. 

Both are much more than the apartment he currently lives in by himself. 

The thought catches him by surprise and his eyes fly open. Why had it taken him so long to notice? 

Wonwoo deflates again though, when he wonders if _it_ can be one-sided. 

He may feel comfortable - so comfortable with Mingyu but is it okay to consider him _that_ when they’re only friends? 

What’s the criteria anyway? 

In a flash, he’s back to not knowing and second guessing himself, despite having made a big realevation. 

“Wonwoo hyung.” Mingyu detaches himself from the top of his head and Wonwoo presses himself closer with the arm he has around Mingyu’s neck. 

Feeling a tap on his shoulder, Wonwoo looks up from where his face was previously buried on Mingyu’s shoulder. 

“Yeah?” He asks, flushing when his voice cracks. 

From how they’re tangled together, he can’t exactly see Mingyu’s face so he stares ahead at the swings through the gaps on the walls of the playhouse. 

Being late at night, the atmosphere is kind of creepy, and Wonwoo finds himself wondering - now that his mind is clearer than before, how Mingyu hasn’t shit his pants yet. 

He almost brings it up, but stops when he hears Mingyu take a deep breath. 

“I-” He starts to say, and Wonwoo strains to hear his voice when he gets cut off. 

A loud bang sounds out and they both startle at the noise. 

“What the hell-” Wonwoo finds himself cursing, loosening the grip on Mingyu’s hand which had tightened, when he remembers what time and day it is. 

In unison, they breathe out, “ah.” 

Mingyu moves his upper body backwards, causing Wonwoo to face Mingyu now that there’s a small distance between them.

Smiling, he keeps his hand in Wonwoo’s hair and continues to pat it down. 

If Wonwoo ends up closing his eyes and sighing at the feeling - that’s a shared secret between them. 

“Happy New Year, hyung.” 

Humming, Wonwoo returns his new year greetings, causing his heart to ache because - right, people give each other kisses and stuff. 

He’ll never admit it out loud, but receiving and giving a kiss right at midnight may have always been a dream of his ever since he read a scene like that from his first romance book in high school. 

Nobody’s ever wanted to kiss him though, and Wonwoo has never had the urge to kiss anyone either. 

The most he’s had are little crushes that become forgotten after a week or two, so it’s not like he’s ever had a solid figure in his imagination at the end of each year. 

That was obviously until Mingyu came running along into his life (quite literally). 

In another universe, perhaps the one where it _didn’t_ rain that day when Mingyu came over and insisted it did (Wonwoo still doesn’t believe him), they’ll be sharing a kiss, or two as the new year begins. 

Unfortunately, reality is bitter like the sudden wind that picks up as he shivers, causing Mingyu to bring him closer to his chest again. 

“Thank you.” Wonwoo whispers, glad his voice doesn’t crack this time. There’s that occasional sniffle and pain in his throat but the aftershock from crying hard has mostly disappeared so he can converse normally. “What did you want to say, earlier?” 

Both Mingyu’s body and the hand in his hair stiffen up and Wonwoo’s eyebrows raise in confusion.

Is he cold too?

Removing the arm he has slung over Mingyu’s shoulder, he holds the hand in his instead and feels the side of his mouth tug downwards. 

They’re freezing, especially without gloves on. 

“We’re so stupid...” Wonwoo muses, rubbing his hands together with Mingyu’s in between in a very sad attempt to warm them up.

When he hears a sigh, he almost drops his hands from where they’re holding Mingyu’s tightly but relaxes once fingers interlace through his own - keeping him in place. 

“Wonwoo hyung.” 

“Mhm?” 

“I-” He starts again, and halts, this time because he forces himself to, Wonwoo figures. 

Able to guess what Mingyu might want to say, Wonwoo squeezes his hand and brings his free one to cup his cheek, laughing when Mingyu flinches from the cold.

“You don’t have to cheer me up or anything, I just needed to… let it out, you know?” 

_Being with you already helps_ , Wonwoo wants to add, but stops himself. 

Mingyu leans against the hand on his cheek and Wonwoo’s heart does a horrible job of performing its primary function as it skips a beat. 

With how close they are - how could he have forgotten about their proximity, he can see the way Mingyu’s eyes practically shine. 

“I know,” he finally answers, tilting his head ever so slightly and if he moved any more, he could kiss Wonwoo’s palm. Dear god. “But you don’t understand how much I want to tell you, hyung. There’s so many things I want to say - all good things, I promise, yet I _can’t_ -”

His voice breaks at the last word and Wonwoo's face morphs into concern. 

“Not now.” Mingyu continues on, so - _so_ softly that he would’ve missed it had he not been paying attention to every word coming out of his mouth. 

The stars in his eyes are replaced by something sadder, and Wonwoo can’t decipher what’s going on without bringing his hopes up. 

He’s torn. 

Pulling his hand away from Mingyu’s grip, his heart breaks at the obvious fall on his face and Wonwoo recalls the time he’d talked about everyone saying he wears his heart on his sleeve - and not believing it. 

Immediately he puts the other hand on Mingyu’s cheek so he’s properly cupping his face now and sort of feels bad because his hands probably aren’t the cleanest either and Mingyu had taken caution not to touch his face - yet here he is. 

He can’t help it though. 

It feels like his hands belong there, holding the entire _world_ in his palms. It’s so selfish, but he doesn’t want to let go just yet. 

“You can tell me anything, Gyu.” The nickname slips out easily, and Wonwoo’s hands grow warmer from the heat radiating off Mingyu’s cheeks. 

_Hope_. 

Like an oversized puppy, he shakes his head vigorously and it’s terribly endearing. If they weren’t having a serious conversation, Wonwoo would’ve teased him about it. 

At the motion, his hands fall from his face but they don’t stay empty for long as Mingyu returns to holding them. It’s a sensation he never wants to forget. 

Holding hands with Mingyu is a sensation Wonwoo wants to remember - _to get used to_. Being friends with Mingyu already entails that much, but he wants that confirmation of being seen as more than a friend. 

Wonwoo doesn’t even know if Mingyu feels the same. 

Snapping Wonwoo out of the thoughts that constantly haunt and cause him guilt for wanting to be _more_ with the person who’s already so special to him, Mingyu clears his throat before sighing. 

He sounds exhausted, and in an instant Wonwoo tenses up - feeling terrible. 

If it’s already a few minutes past midnight, that means they’ve been sitting in the cold for a little longer than an hour. Wonwoo made Mingyu sit outside in the dark, in weather that’s in the negatives just so he could hear him bawl like a baby. 

“Shit, Gyu. It’s late - I didn’t mean to make you stay here for so long…” He mumbles, cursing himself for being unable to sound sincerely apologetic because the truth is- 

The truth is Wonwoo wants to stay like this, in their little bubble, for a bit longer. He knows that once they pull apart from each other and head in opposite directions - things will be different. 

“Wonwoo.” 

His eyes widen and his breath hitches at the lack of formality but he isn’t mad. 

Mingyu stares directly into his eyes and Wonwoo stops breathing from the sheer intensity of his gaze. 

“ _Wonwoo, Wonwoo, Wonwoo_.” 

Hands detach themselves from his for the fifth (third? sixth? he’s lost count though it doesn’t matter since they always manage to find their way back together) time that night and Wonwoo blinks rapidly at the feeling of hands on the sides of his head. 

“Wonwoo hyung-” The honorific returns, but it doesn’t bring the tense atmosphere away. “I- You’re just- you’re so _good_.” 

“Wha-” As he begins to speak, trying to find out what Mingyu is talking about, he gets hushed into silence so he clamps his mouth shut. 

“And it _breaks my heart_ to see- to hear you say what you think about yourself. It breaks my heart, having to hear what you had to go through, alone.” 

In his mind, Wonwoo responds. 

(“Don’t bother with me, Mingyu. _Don’t_.”)

“It breaks my heart because you don’t know how wonderful you are.” Mingyu whispers, his voice shaking. 

His hands have started moving now, brushing his hair softly like he did before and Wonwoo’s throat closes up. Shit. 

“There’s so many things about you that I respect, that I admire. One day, I’ll tell you all about it.” He smiles, it holds emotions Wonwoo can’t (wants to) identify. “For now, I want to say _thank you_ , for trusting me and opening up - I know it wasn’t easy.”

 _No, Mingyu, thank you - for listening, for being here_. 

“Hyung, you are incredibly strong - I’ve never met a person greater.” Mingyu tilts his head up slightly, so Wonwoo has no choice but to face upwards and _look_. “And I want you to know that it’s okay to go at your own pace, take your time hyung. You’re destined to do amazing things.”

Wonwoo watches as Mingyu’s eyes flicker down, to his lips and he feels his heart rate pick up. 

However, as fast as they had drifted, they return to meet his and they maintain eye contact. 

His mind is a mess, the only thing he’s sure of is that he’s going to cry again. 

“When I’m braver, I won’t leave it at this, hyung. So in the meantime, please remember that I _adore_ you, and that I’ll always be here - no matter what.” 

Like the fireworks from when the clock hit midnight, Wonwoo feels his heart burst into tiny little pieces. 

I adore you.

Mingyu adores him. 

_Mingyu_. 

When he hears that, the tears form once more. He exhales, cursing himself for being so careless - for letting his guard down - for _what_ , exactly? 

And why?

He pauses the tormenting in his head to question himself.

_Why do you scold yourself for this?_

Because he can’t find the answer to that question, burning and _burning_ in his mind, Wonwoo’s tears fall and he lets them - without holding back. 

“Wait- fuck, shit- sorry. No, no, no, did I make you cry?” He briefly hears Mingyu stumble over his words, panicking as he rubs his back and gently runs his hand through his hair. 

Even though the apology barely registers, Wonwoo finds the energy to shake his head _no_ and croak out, “It’s not because of you.”

His head starts to throb from all the crying and the lack of air he’s inhaling so he whines, desperately wishing the waterworks would stop. 

Like a saint, Mingyu stays by his side calming him down for a second time, while repeating, “it’s okay,” softly into his hair. 

Everything feels so intimate, Wonwoo lets out a loud sob when he realizes he’s never been comforted like _this_ before. 

Most of the time, he doesn’t call Soonyoung when he breaks down, despite the latter insisting he does. Wonwoo hates being a bother to others, especially his friends, so he faces everything on his own in the quiet of his bedroom.

But with Mingyu… it’s different. He can’t put it into words.

Instead, he shuts his brain down for a moment and cries, and _cries_ , letting weeks worth of tears and stress from both his heart and school alike pour out. 

When he finally heaves his last sob, he feels better - emotionally anyway. Physically, he feels like actual shit. 

Mingyu’s coat must be disgusting since his face had spent most of its time on his shoulder, and Wonwoo makes a reminder in his head to get it cleaned for him. 

Steading his breathing, Wonwoo detaches himself from Mingyu’s shoulder and looks back up at Mingyu. 

The hands are back on his head again, and he groans. 

After clearing his throat five times, much to Mingyu’s apparent amusement, he places one hand over Mingyu’s and lets himself breathe properly.

“Thank you for staying with me, and helping.” He considers saying more, because that’s never enough. They’re both dead tired, though, so Wonwoo saves it. 

_One day_ , like Mingyu had said. 

With another gentle grin, Mingyu replies, “You were there for me too, hyung. Just let me know and I’ll go to you. I always will.” 

And then, before Wonwoo can respond - Mingyu leans in. 

His heart rate skyrockets, seeing Mingyu move closer and closer, and _so close_ \- until Wonwoo stops seeing as he squeezes his eyes shut on instinct. 

When he makes contact, he gasps. 

“This is all I’ll do for now.” Mingyu leans backwards before Wonwoo has time to even absorb what happened. Numbly, he brings a hand to his forehead and feels his whole body flush. 

A forehead kiss.

“When you’re feeling better, we can talk about _us_ ,” Mingyu taps his hand still lingering on the spot he’d pressed a chaste kiss, and smiles. “Okay?”

Without needing to think twice, he agrees. 

After that, they shuffle out of the playground house, stretching their limbs from having sat inside there for too long. 

Moving on autopilot - still in shock, he doesn’t even realize Mingyu had followed him to his apartment until he’s right outside his door. 

Was Wonwoo so used to having Mingyu’s hand in his that he didn’t recognize the feeling? What the hell. 

“Come on hyung, your keys! You’re freezing your butt off, gotta make sure you’re safe and warm before I go.” 

Having been in the process of unlocking the door, he nearly falls in after hearing Mingyu’s words. 

“You’re not staying over?” Embarrassingly, his tone is a mix between a hiss in an attempt to stay quiet since it’s late, and a whine. 

Pouting, Mingyu shakes his head, not explaining why. 

Wonwoo’s mind is about to jump himself for even suggesting that when Mingyu kills its chances by saying, “maybe next time.” 

His shoulders relax, knowing they’re _good_ , that they’re okay and that Mingyu still wants to meet up after everything.

Silently, he nods in understanding and waves goodbye, only to stop when Mingyu steps forward. 

Without any warning, he holds his head again, and presses a quick kiss to his forehead. Wonwoo doesn’t get the chance to close his eyes this time so he notices the way their height difference is perfect for that. 

He’s not that bothered that Mingyu’s taller anymore. 

Grinning cheekily, Mingyu steps back and whispers, “New Year’s kiss.” 

He almost collapses. 

Feeling brave, or perhaps impulsive, Wonwoo stands on his tip toes (fuck), grabs Mingyu’s shoulders and presses his lips onto Mingyu’s cheek - right by where his mole is. 

“New Year’s kiss.” 

The pure shock on Mingyu’s face - wide eyes and mouth hanging open causes Wonwoo to let out a short laugh. 

_Cute_. 

Before he can make fun of it though, Mingyu’s eyes soften and he looks _so fucking fond_ \- Wonwoo loses his breath. Arms wrap around his waist and he feels Mingyu bury his face into his shoulder. 

“I- “ He stops himself again, Wonwoo can feel the way his whole body freezes. “Let’s meet up soon.” 

Understanding too well, he pats Mingyu on the back. Frankly, he’s thankful that he wants to wait for a while. 

“Let’s meet up soon.” Wonwoo confirms, knowing what meeting up after this means. 

Giving his hair a ruffle, he watches as Mingyu returns to full height with a sadness in his eyes that Wonwoo can safely label as _longing_. 

“Goodnight, Gyu.” 

Mingyu grabs his hand for the last time, and squeezes it. 

“Night, hyung.” 

As Mingyu turns away after sharing smiles, Wonwoo gets the urge to pull him back, drag him in and _say it_. 

Instead, he waits until Mingyu is inside the elevator before entering his apartment. 

He only goes to sleep once he receives a message from Mingyu, informing him that he’s back safe and sound.

That night (or morning) he goes to bed with a weight on his shoulders lifted, and although there’s uncertainty, Wonwoo is happier than he’s ever been the past few weeks. 

  


_(I adore you too.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the amount of times i went < em > < slash em > when editing is ... well 
> 
> anyway [stream](https://youtu.be/HdZdxocqzq4) the mv and i hope everyone who's reading this has a good weekend :] and to everyone who has left a comment and/or kudo - thank you so much!! <3


	6. patient

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a meeting, a confession, a good rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry for the late update (not that i announced a schedule or anything) enjoy this abomination of a chapter n_n

Both of them struggle to bring it up. Wonwoo second guesses himself and Mingyu, wondering whether he’d heard right. 

But he can’t really interpret Mingyu’s words from that night to be anything else. 

Especially, “I adore you so much.”

Now, Wonwoo isn’t a fan of assuming other people’s feelings so as hard as it is to accept the possibility that his crush could like him back, he does.

That’s just the first step in the right direction. 

(Right?) 

He knows that communication goes both ways, and Wonwoo can’t keep waiting for Mingyu to bring it up when he wants _it_ just as much. 

So on the third of January - two days after Wonwoo’s meltdown at the playground and Mingyu’s promise, he calls him. 

Truthfully, he doesn't expect Mingyu to pick up - being a phone call and everything. Seokmin always complains to him that his calls keep getting rejected.

Remembering that, Wonwoo almost hangs up to send a text instead when the call gets answered.

“Hyung?”

It’s utterly stressful how Wonwoo gets the feeling of wanting to tear up just at the sound of Mingyu’s voice. They haven’t spoken in two days but it’d seemed like more.

When did he become this clingy? 

“Wonwoo hyung, are you okay?” There’s an edge of worry in his tone and Wonwoo’s heart flutters. 

Clearing his throat and wiping the corner of his eye - he really did tear up, Wonwoo gives Mingyu the peace of mind that he’s not dying somewhere.

“I’m fine… Morning, Gyu.” He turns until he’s laying on his belly and plays with the fabric of his pillow case. “Is it a bad time?” 

The response is immediate. 

“Never! I was just editing my assignment so it’s not like you woke me up.” 

Wonwoo looks at the time on the clock with cat ears standing proudly on his bedside table. It’s eight in the morning.

“Did you even sleep?” Wonwoo accuses, frowning. There is no way Mingyu is awake on a day they have off at eight. That’s too early.

Dry laughter rings in his ears and his frown _frowns_. 

Clicking his tongue, he chides Mingyu for not taking care of his health and nearly threatens to go over when he finds out he’s been awake since yesterday. 

“You haven’t slept in twenty four hours?!” 

“Hyung, it’s okay. I just- I got really inspired and had to make some adjustments to my assignment. I’m almost done and then I’ll head to bed.” Mingyu reassures, and as soothing as his voice is, Wonwoo has his doubts.

“Promise?” He asks, staring at his pinky. 

Mingyu chuckles on the other side, and Wonwoo colours at how close he sounds. 

_Get it together_. 

“Promise.” 

When he hangs up so he can leave Mingyu to get the rest he needs, Wonwoo considers texting him to arrange a date for them to meet up. 

Maybe he misses Mingyu. Maybe he wants confirmation. 

Maybe Wonwoo wants to hold hands again. Maybe he wants to feel his lips on his forehead again. 

_Maybe_ , Wonwoo is whipped. 

The screen shifts before he can do anything and it catches his eye. 

He stares at the newly delivered picture for a moment, before breaking out into a grin he can’t contain. 

Sending a picture of his own pinky, Wonwoo wishes Mingyu a goodnight (or morning) and decides to text him again when he’s awake.

Seeing Mingyu can wait, knowing that he’s resting well. 

Instead, he calls Joshua - remembering they haven’t met up since Wonwoo ditched his birthday party. 

Despite the time, he agrees to meet Wonwoo at Shining Diamond in about an hour and he scurries to find the gift he was supposed to give him.

When he finally manages to locate the tell-tale shape of Joshua’s present, his eyes zoom in on the scarf covering it.

Immediately, he flushes. It’s not _the_ scarf, it’s Mingyu’s scarf. And he can’t believe he just threw it around so carelessly like that. 

Sighing, he picks it up and without thinking, brings it up to his face. 

_Fuck, that’s creepy_ , his brain reacts in time and he pulls it away as fast as possible. 

After regaining some common sense, Wonwoo drapes the scarf over one of the dining chairs - the green one, which Mingyu has claimed as his and moves to wash up.

As he brushes his teeth, Wonwoo plans out his day in his head - figuring out what he should do once he parts with Joshua. 

Oh well, he thinks as he draws a blank. He’ll just be spontaneous. 

He can go check out the little bookstore nearby and see if there’s any new interesting things to read. It feels like he hasn’t picked a book up in forever, not with how busy he was the past few weeks. 

At the recollection of the reason he was unavailable in the first place, Wonwoo does a full body shudder. He had spent the whole of yesterday reworking the draft at last.

Unsurprisingly, the story felt like it wrote itself as Wonwoo watched the words appear on his screen almost instantly with each minute that passed.

Safe to say, he can stop thinking about it for now, at least until his professor replies and comments on it. 

But Wonwoo is confident, way more than he was the first time around, so it should be fine. 

Picking up Joshua’s gift and placing it into his backpack, he glances at the scarf on the chair and has what feels like an internal war with himself. 

Wonwoo instantly regrets the decision he’d made when he walks into the cafe and practically sees the gears in Joshua’s head turning once his eyes narrow at the scarf around his neck. 

And naturally, the first sentence he says when Wonwoo sits down is, “that’s not yours.”

“What? How are you so sure?” He challenges, forcing his blush away. It’s a battle Wonwoo knows he’ll lose but it’d hurt his ego more if he didn’t bite back. 

“Do you really want me to refute that, Wonwoo?” 

His fingers that have a hold on the scarf twitch and he shakes his head - remembering how mean Joshua can get. 

He gives up a little too easily. 

The scarf easily slides off his neck as he pulls it and he proceeds to fold and put it on his lap. 

When he makes eye contact with Joshua again, he has an eyebrow raised. 

“Don’t- Don’t say anything.” Wonwoo grits out, absolutely hating how smug his friend looks.

Leaning back on his chair, Joshua smiles. “I wasn’t going to. It feels like you’re the one who wants to do the talking though.” 

This time, he feels his whole body heat up.

Leave it to Joshua to figure him out in an instant. It’s not surprising though, Wonwoo has constantly gone to him for advice, but he didn’t think he’d catch on so quickly. 

“Your gift first, hyung.” Wonwoo stalls, carefully removing the wrapped box from his bag. “Here.” 

Once Joshua has the gift in his hands, Wonwoo stands up and tilts his head in the direction of the counter.

“Buying time is a new look on you, Wonwoo.” 

Whipping his head around at the comment he pouts, pointing at the menu. “I’m not buying time hyung, I’m buying _coffee_.” 

Waving him off with a smile that Wonwoo recognizes as fondness, Joshua turns his attention to his own drink and picks up his phone.

Free from his teasing, Wonwoo orders a blueberry muffin and hot americano. As much as he likes eating ice cream in winter (much to the horror of his friends except Soonyoung), he’s going to need the hot drink. 

He thanks the cashier and grabs the buzzer, walking back to his seat. There, he manages to catch Joshua’s reaction to his present.

If he had quick reflexes, Wonwoo would’ve been able to capture the pure shock and irritation. Alas, all Wonwoo has is the power of his memory. 

“Wonwoo, I love you and all, but seriously?” He says, in complete disbelief, holding the two rubber chickens. 

For comedic effect, he squeezes one of them and Wonwoo bursts out laughing, only to stop when he sees the disturbed faces of the few customers in the cafe. 

Embarrassed, he sits back down and puts his face in his hands.

He refuses to look up as he hisses, “Hyung, why’d you squeeze it in public?!” 

“What?” Joshua has the decency to sound offended, “It made you laugh didn’t it?” 

Before Wonwoo can look up and give Joshua his best _fuck you_ face, he feels something hit him, accompanied by short screams. 

Unable to contain his laughter, courtesy of his poor sense of humour, Wonwoo snorts each time he gets hit. 

The _noise_ , it’s fucking killing him. 

“Ah, hyung- stop, stop or I’m going to die.” He finally protests, swatting his hands above his head.

A pause, and Wonwoo thinks he’s saved. 

Only for him to get smacked again.

“Then perish.” 

It shouldn’t be funny, getting beat up by two rubber chickens but it _is_ , so he keeps laughing to the point where Joshua has to get his food for him when the buzzer rings. 

“Are you okay now?” Joshua asks, setting the tray where Wonwoo’s head used to be, on the table.

Taking several deep breaths, Wonwoo puts his hand up in affirmation. 

“I think my stomach just burst.” 

“Good, that’s what you get for giving me useless things.” 

At the mention of his gift, Wonwoo’s eyes close up on the two chickens which stare back at him and he snorts, trying to hold it in.

It takes another five minutes before he’s calm enough to take a sip from his drink without spitting it out at Joshua. 

“It’s seriously not that funny, Wonwoo, have you lost it?” 

“Yeah.” He replies, completely serious.

Leaning in and putting his elbows on the small table, Joshua stares straight at him. “Does Mingyu happen to be the reason?” 

“Actually, it was because of the chickens but in general, maybe.” 

“Don’t be a brat.” Joshua narrows his eyes, though his smile is warm. 

Before Wonwoo can retort, Joshua’s face turns serious and he sighs. Here it comes.

The smile returns, though it seems more threatening than friendly this time as Joshua leans forward with his elbows on the table and asks the question Wonwoo was dreading. 

“So, are you aware you like Mingyu?” 

Groaning into his hands, Wonwoo shoots a glare through the cracks between his fingers. “Yes, I’ve grown past denial, Shua hyung.” 

Clapping his hands together like the most obnoxious person on the planet, Joshua beams.

“That’s great! What’s the problem then?” 

“The _problem_ \- is that I still can’t accept the fact that he might like me back.” Wonwoo replies, cringing to himself at that statement.

He’s been on a seesaw between denying and accepting Mingyu’s signals. 

On one hand, he doesn’t want to look like a self-loving idiot who thinks the world revolves around him. On the other, he doesn’t want to throw Mingyu’s words and feelings away without even considering them. 

“And how are you so sure he likes you?” Joshua questions further, giving Wonwoo a high amount of unease. 

Flushing at the memory, he recites what Mingyu had said on New Year’s, in the dead of the night. 

“He told me,” Wonwoo begins, pausing because it’s _too much_. “He told me a lot, and then he-”

The forehead kiss. At that, he truly collapses into a puddle of embarrassment because he can’t stop the blush from taking over.

Joshua, very aware of his meltdown, urges him to continue. “What did he do?” 

“A- A forehead k-kiss…?” Wonwoo manages to say out, although there’s some confusion mixed in to hide how shy he feels.

His friend seems to be having the time of his life however, as his eyes light up and he quietly cheers. 

“That’s cute, I’m certain he likes you too, Wonwoo. We never told you this before, but when we see the way Mingyu looks at you - it’s pretty obvious.” 

Unable to keep his curiosity at bay, he tilts his head as he asks, “the way he looks at me?” 

“You’ve never noticed?” 

Wonwoo shakes his head. 

Joshua’s eyebrows furrow, like he doesn’t understand. “Wonwoo, he looks at you like you hung all the stars up in the sky - he looks at you like you’re his _soulmate_. There’s so much adoration, it’s a little sickening honestly.” 

“Oh.” 

_Oh._

All this time, he was thinking about how Mingyu is the most oblivious person in the world - turns out _he’s_ the one who wasn’t aware. 

But it’s not to say Wonwoo has never noticed though, since Mingyu’s fondness for him was made very apparent the past few weeks. 

Wonwoo just never expected it’d be… that much. 

“He’s not the only one though.” Joshua continues, snapping Wonwoo out of his thoughts. “You’re the same.” 

In disbelief, he points to himself. 

Rolling his eyes, Joshua smirks. “Yes. Do you not know?” 

Wonwoo shakes his head again.

“Well, you look at Mingyu like he’s the only man alive. You look at him like he’s the actual _sun_ , perhaps god. When you look at Mingyu, your shoulders that used to constantly be stiff relax, your eyes get softer and you have this -” 

Gesturing to his own face, he grins.

(Not quite, Joshua _smiles_ \- the kind he reserves for Seungcheol and Jeonghan when they do something silly.)

“- look, and it’s… it’s been a long time since we’ve seen you that happy, Wonwoo.” 

There’s more, Wonwoo can tell. It’s like Joshua is holding himself back from saying what he actually wants to. 

That’s a first, since Joshua is usually blunt and gets straight to the point, which is why he goes to him for advice. 

Still, it’s something Wonwoo has never heard from his other friends. At the very most, he gets teased by Soonyoung whom he _thought_ knew nothing about his crush. 

“I see…” He mumbles, unsure of what to say. 

“You’re smiling, Wonwoo.” 

Immediately, he slaps a hand over his mouth. God, he is. He’s grinning like a damn fool. 

And no matter how much he tries to bring the corners of his lips down, they stay upturned. 

Joshua eyes him with pure amusement and it embarrasses Wonwoo to no end. 

“I swear it’s not what it looks like, hyung.” He says, in an attempt to save his image that’s probably been shattered since he started going to Joshua for advice. 

Evidently, it does not work. 

Drinking from his cup of tea, Joshua raises a brow in question. It asks, “are you sure?” 

And before Wonwoo blurts out an answer, he considers the unspoken words properly. 

Honestly, it’s exactly what it looks like. He can’t stop the smile from showing up on his face because he _likes_ Mingyu. 

Wonwoo likes the idea that they’re so painfully obvious about their feelings around each other and how they still manage to fail to notice it. 

He likes it so much. 

Satisfied by the acknowledgment of this, Joshua prompts Wonwoo to finish his food so they can walk around and enjoy the January morning. 

They end up in a bookstore Wonwoo has never noticed before, and spend the rest of their day together face burrowed in their respective genres. 

Well, if you can count shounen manga as a type of book. 

It’s been awhile since he’d taken a break to do the things he enjoys, so Wonwoo finds the spontaneous plan perfect. Not to mention it _was_ a part of his vague plan earlier. 

Simply breathing in each other’s space while they do their own things, that’s something he can always count on Joshua to do with him. 

(And then, because he’s a loser, Wonwoo thinks about what it’d be like to live with Mingyu and do the exact thing. 

He could read his books and Mingyu would be busy going through his pictures. Perhaps they'd be leaning against each other, or Wonwoo would have his head resting on Mingyu's shoulder, or even vice versa. Either way-

that’s so fucking domestic, christ.) 

Surprisingly, they stay in the bookstore until it’s three in the afternoon and the employee is more than happy to wave them goodbye. 

She’s probably upset that they didn’t purchase anything though, which Wonwoo whistles a tune to because if he can read a book without having to buy it then... well. Eat the rich, right? 

He already has the entire Sherlocks Holmes series anyway. 

As they walk together aimlessly, with Joshua going on about something he’s not exactly paying attention to, his phone rings. 

They stop to sit at a bench they coincidentally find - a good job to the person who put it there, so Wonwoo can answer the call. He already knows who it is without looking at the contact name. 

“Mingyu?” 

Joshua’s eyes widen when he says his name, god he wishes he could hit him.

On the other side, he can hear Mingyu’s voice and he has to stop himself from blushing when he realizes it’s his sleepy one. 

Which means it’s deep and raspy and killing Wonwoo - who should be more calm and collected than this. 

“Hyung, are you free right now?” Mingyu asks, and Wonwoo can imagine him rubbing his eyes to wake himself up properly. 

Wonwoo casts a look at Joshua, who’s standing abnormally close. 

He mouths, quite obnoxiously at that, “say yes.” 

“Yes, I’m free.” Wonwoo obeys, laughing quietly at Joshua who is honestly so fucking funny, it’s a wonder why people don’t think the same. “What’s up?”

Mingyu hums, clearly happy with his lack of schedule. It causes Wonwoo’s stomach to do flips. 

“That’s good, can we meet up by the playground in an hour?” He sounds excited, and oh god - Wonwoo realizes he is too, when a smile he didn’t know formed won’t drop from his face. 

Trying his best to cover his grin from Joshua’s prying eyes and ears he turns away and replies, “Yes, that’s fine.” 

“Awesome! See you later then, Wonwoo hyung.” 

When he hangs up, Wonwoo turns around to face Joshua again who has the ugliest shit eating smirk on his not ugly face. 

“A love song as the ringtone for Mingyu, seriously?” Joshua points out, teasing. 

Huffing, Wonwoo counters, “Who says it’s just for Mingyu?” 

As quick as a lightning bolt, Joshua pulls out his phone and types something. Much to his shame, it takes Wonwoo a second too late to understand what he’s doing. 

_Sunday morning_ blasts in the open air and Wonwoo frantically presses the decline button and then puts his phone on silent. 

“That’s such a lame ringtone for me, _come on_ , Wonwoo.” 

“Please stop talking, hyung.” He has his face in his hands, to hide how red it’d gotten. 

Laughing, Joshua pats his back and squeezes his arm. “It’s cute.” 

“Are you hitting on me?” 

Letting go off his arm so fast it should be offensive, Joshua narrows his eyes and then grins again, meaning he’s up to no good. 

How does Seungcheol survive, living with him and Jeonghan? It’s a total mystery. 

“Right, whatever you say, Wonwoo. Now let’s go meet your lover boy.” 

Failing to keep his voice steady, he nearly yells, “You’re tagging along?!” 

His embarrassing outburst causes Joshua to fall into silence before laughing so hard he has to take a seat on the bench. 

“Don’t worry, Wonwoo,” Joshua begins again when he recollects himself and Wonwoo can’t bear to look at him any longer. He’s truly humiliated himself to no return. “I’m not going to be there for your confession with prince charming.” 

To add fuel to the fire which is Wonwoo’s face, he continues, “You know what, I was going to walk you there but how about you go by yourself? Wouldn’t want Mingyu misunderstanding!” 

He’s a devil. A demon. A Jeonghan. 

“I’m- I don’t have any words other than I hate you.” He groans, fanning his ears in an attempt to cool them down. 

Joshua smiles - sweeter and softer this time, before holding his arms open. 

“Sure, even though I know in your heart you’re thanking me profusely.” 

They hug, and Wonwoo grumbles into Joshua’s shoulder the exact thing he’d assumed.

“Mm yeah, thanks for today, Shua hyung.” 

When they part, Joshua ruffles his hair and coos, “Our Wonwoo has grown up.” 

Blushing, genuinely because of Joshua this time, he rubs the back of his neck. 

He remembers their first meeting, where he’d been wary of the boy who seemed too attractive to be real. He remembers the first time Joshua had sat him down to give him advice on something that others would have deemed trivial. Wonwoo remembers Joshua encouraging him countless of times, and is so grateful that he’s the one to cheer him on now. 

“And you’ve stayed the absolute same.” Wonwoo smiles, waving as he walks off. 

Behind him, he hears Joshua yelling, “I hope that means I’ve stayed amazing!” 

_He doesn't know how accurate that is._

* * *

By the time he reaches the playground, he’s a little earlier than their planned timing. 

Sitting on the swing - _his swing_ , Wonwoo thinks about what he wants to say. He had considered making a script in his head during the journey there, but he couldn’t find the right words to use. 

So now, he’s left with five minutes to think. 

Sadly, he doesn’t get to make use of the time as Mingyu appears magically right in front of him, shocking him off the swingset. 

Barking out a laugh, Mingyu helps Wonwoo up and he wonders if the day could get anymore embarrassing for him. 

“You’re early.” Wonwoo clears his throat, starting a conversation so they can both forget about how he pulled a Mingyu. 

Mingyu shrugs, putting his hands in his coat pocket. Fuck, he looks like a model, dressed like that. “You’re earlier, hyung.”

Suddenly insecure about his outfit choice, Wonwoo glances down to check it. He’s wearing his fluffy coat because January in Korea is like the Arctic and he has normal jeans on. 

It’s only when he looks down further, does he remember the fabric around his neck. 

Flushing instantly, he scrambles to remove Mingyu’s scarf, but is stopped by a pair of large hands. 

“Hey, it’s okay - keep it. You look better in it than I do anyway.” 

Pulling it up to cover his mouth to hide his pleased smile - because _shit_ , he’s wearing Mingyu’s scarf, Wonwoo nods. 

They sort of stand around for a bit, the atmosphere awkward as hell. Neither of them want to make the first move, which is obvious enough. 

Minutes tick by before Wonwoo caves, blurting out words before he can stop himself. 

“Can I talk to you?”

At the exact same time, Mingyu asks, “Do you wanna head for dinner?”

“Um.” They say in sync. 

Sensing Mingyu doesn’t want to be the person who makes the decision, Wonwoo speaks his mind.

“Dinner after? This is important…” He trails off, hoping it doesn’t sound too serious. And if Mingyu somehow doesn’t feel the same and Wonwoo was wrong, he can always run away.

Mingyu takes a seat on the swing next to him and stretches his legs out. 

“Okay.” 

“Okay.” Wonwoo repeats, unsure of how to continue despite being the person who’d initiated. 

It appears they’re both more worried than he’d expected. 

At this rate, the sun will probably set before either of them say anything. Alhough, Wonwoo doesn’t seem to mind that much - they always seemed to have important conversations and meetings in the dark. 

(Which is ironic, since whenever they go out looking for rainbows, it’s light out.)

Mingyu must feel the same, as he sits there quietly, watching the sun go down. The playground has the best view, and they watch in silence as the sky slowly changes colours. 

Neither of them rush to talk, and Wonwoo thinks this is better - so much better. 

At twilight, when the sun is there but also not, Mingyu shifts loudly on his swing and clears his throat. 

“Wonwoo hyung.”

Here it comes, Wonwoo thinks. There’s almost no reason for him to be scared, yet he is. Joshua has reconfirmed that it’s not as one-sided as he thinks it is but Wonwoo still fears.

He fears that it could’ve all been in his head. He fears that the past eight months have been nothing but lies and his imagination. 

He fears that he was so desperate for love, for someone to love him, that he thought up feelings that were non existent. 

It’s enough to make his skin crawl. 

What if he disappoints Mingyu? What if Mingyu finds out how he feels and is disgusted?

Not because he’s a man - since they’ve come out to each other way earlier, but because he’s _Wonwoo_. 

Curling his hands into fists, Wonwoo frowns, willing himself to not make a fool of himself again and cry in front of Mingyu. 

The next time he faces up, instead of at his legs, is because a shadow looms over him.

“Hyung,” Mingyu’s voice is quiet. “Hear me out?”

“Okay.” Wonwoo says, because there’ll never be a day where he won’t listen to what Mingyu has to offer. Along the way, Mingyu’s voice had become a sort of melody, like a lullaby. He loves it. 

He steps back when Wonwoo agrees, and he doesn’t get it until Mingyu adds on. 

“Let’s walk and talk.” 

At the proposition of leaving the playground, he shakes his head rapidly as soon as he hears the suggestion. 

Mingyu lets out a confused noise, perhaps because it’s the first time Wonwoo has reacted so fiercely. 

But he doesn’t question, simply waiting for Wonwoo to explain. He gives him all the time he needs, as usual. 

Wonwoo thinks of how to tell Mingyu that the playground is a more comforting location to have this conversation. He thinks about whether it’s safe to admit how he feels about this place - _their_ place. 

Instead of that, he keeps his reasoning to the bare minimum (because he fears, again and again). “I’d… I’d rather we do it here.” 

Looking around the playground, Mingyu nods and proceeds to sit back down on his swing. 

“Is it alright if I start now?” Mingyu asks, staring straight at him. 

It should be intimidating, seeing Mingyu’s face and having to hold eye contact - but it isn’t. Not as much as Wonwoo thought it’d be. 

Mingyu’s eyes are starlike, and he holds the softest gaze Wonwoo has seen. It feels like a repeat of New Year’s Eve, when they were in the playhouse. 

Sighing, he nods. 

The sigh is not one of frustration, or anger. And it appears Mingyu can infer that much from the way he lets out a huff of similar nature. 

It is fond. 

“Hyung,” He takes a deep breath. “Do you remember what I said two nights ago?”

“You said a lot.” Wonwoo replies, a little stunned. But at Mingyu’s question, one phrase certainly makes its way back to his mind. 

_I adore you._

Chuckling, Mingyu hums. “That’s true, shall I refresh your memory?” 

Oh god, he’s going to repeat it? Everything?

“If you want to.” 

He watches as Mingyu stretches his legs out, before standing abruptly. Wonwoo knows Mingyu can’t sit still most of the time, though he’s normally able to keep seated whenever they talk on and on for hours in the playground. 

So it’s a mystery as to why he walks towards Wonwoo and places his arm out. His hand is wide open, palm faced upwards. 

It doesn’t take his literature background to conclude what Mingyu wants him to do. 

Unsure of what he’s going to do after however, Wonwoo tentatively puts his hand on Mingyu’s and sighs at the instant warmth when he holds it. 

“Are we going out of the playground?” Wonwoo asks as Mingyu leads them around, almost in circles. 

They arrive by the stairs of the playground after one round. 

“Nope. We’re here.” 

Mingyu dusts snow from the stairs and moves Wonwoo so he’s seated while Mingyu remains standing. 

Here, Wonwoo has to tilt his head up slightly to look at Mingyu’s face. It’s no different from when they’re standing. But the height is more comfortable compared to the swings, if Mingyu were to be on his feet. 

Shifting to the right, Wonwoo pats the space next to him. “Aren’t you going to sit?’ 

Shaking his head, Mingyu smiles. 

“I want to look at you.”

His heart does a backflip. 

“Sure.” Wonwoo manages to squeak out. 

“So…” Mingyu drawls, and Wonwoo notices his ears are red. In fact, his cheeks are the same shade and he’s biting his lips. “Ah, this is hard.” 

_Cute._

Understanding, Wonwoo pats his arm. “Take your time.” 

They stare at each other in complete silence as Mingyu obviously racks his brain with what to say and Wonwoo can’t help but feel _so much_ for this boy. 

“Wonwoo hyung,” Mingyu finally says again after what must be five minutes. 

“Yes?” 

Frankly, he doesn’t know what to expect, so he holds his breath, waiting. 

“I like you.” 

That’s definitely not what he expected, because it barely registers in his brain and he ends up wide eyed and open mouthed as Mingyu rubs the back of his neck. 

There is nothing in his mind except for pure chaos. It is exactly like the scene from Spongebob where his brain is on fire and there are papers flying everywhere. 

_Answer him_ , the fairly intelligent part of his burning brain screams. 

His mouth is so fucking dry, Wonwoo doesn’t even think he can form words at this point. 

He probably looks like an idiot. 

“Uh, hyung?” Mingyu taps him on the shoulder, snapping him out of whatever shocked state he was in. 

Instantly, at the sight of Mingyu’s furrowed eyebrows and eyes laced with concern, Wonwoo flushes as the words sink in. 

“You… like me?” He points to himself, genuinely wondering if what Mingyu had said is right. 

Because even though it’s very possible he is, Wonwoo simply can’t believe it. 

“Very much.” Mingyu nods, and the concern is replaced by kind eyes. 

Wonwoo swallows, repeating, “really?” 

“Yeah, I like you, Wonwoo hyung.” Mingyu sighs, his gaze drifts from Wonwoo to the side, and his eyes follow - drawn like a magnet. 

He’s looking at the swings.

“I like you so much, when you’re smiling, when you’re laughing, when you’re sad and lean on me, when you’re worried and tell me, when you’re the happiest you can be - I like it all.” 

Mingyu’s attention settles on him once more, and Wonwoo regulates his breathing, his heart, and his nerves. 

“Hyung, when you don’t see how beautiful you are, it really hurts. Because the Wonwoo I know _shines_ and he has a wonderful heart. He is unbelievable at times, but he is also the bravest person I know. The Jeon Wonwoo I know is always thinking of others and gives people the time they need.” Mingyu grins - his eyes are twinkling. “This is the Wonwoo I’ve fallen for, hyung.”

He gulps, and like that, his brain is working again. 

For the wrong reason. 

“How do you know… that the person you’ve fallen for… isn’t _just_ a version of myself?” Wonwoo clenches his fists, already hating the words that leave his mouth. The only time he doesn’t have to think twice before speaking is when he’s being an asshole. 

“What if you… what if I’m not any of those things?” 

Silence. 

There is only silence. 

Until there is more than that. 

“Wonwoo hyung, I’m not the only one who’s noticed those qualities about you. I’m not the only person who sees how wonderful you are. You are more than the version of yourself that you’ve made up in your head.” Mingyu’s voice trembles, like he’s angry. 

“If, by some chance that the Jeon Wonwoo I’ve fallen for is an image, I will decide what to do with my feelings. But for now, the Wonwoo I like - _have liked_ for a while now is you. You, with the beautiful smile, the beautiful personality. It’s _all_ pretty, hyung.” 

The dark part of his mind fights to refute, to fight, to scare Mingyu off. Because he still believes he is not made for love. 

Yet Wonwoo doesn’t let it take charge. Not when Mingyu is right about the part where it’s _his_ feelings. He decides what to do with them, same with what Wonwoo decides to do with his own for Mingyu. 

His throat tightens up, and he opens and closes his mouth about ten times, _thinking_. Thinking of how to respond to Mingyu’s sincerity. 

Before he can though, a cold finger presses against his lips, preventing him. 

Mingyu isn’t done. 

It’s more than enough, he’s already said so much, exposing himself bare for Wonwoo. He wants to tell Mingyu that _it’s fine_ , but something nags at him - urges him to stay quiet and listen. 

So he does, because there is nothing he enjoys doing more, even if Mingyu’s words cut to the deepest part of Wonwoo’s seemingly closed off heart. 

“When we first met, over there by the swings, it felt like I’d finally seen the light at the end of a long tunnel. When we parted without exchanging anything, I had never felt such regret in my lifetime. 

When we met a second time, at the convenience store - I thanked the heavens for giving me a second chance. When you didn’t run away, despite how much you wanted to, I wanted to thank _you_. 

When we became closer, and faster than I have with anyone, I felt a connection. When you picked up, during one of the lowest points in my life, I had never felt more grateful. 

When you opened your fears up to me, I had never wanted to cry more. When you let me comfort you, when you let me stay by your side during a time where you must’ve found yourself weak - which you’re not, I thought to myself, 

_I want to be there for you when you’re happy, when you’re sad, when you’re at your best, your worst, I want to be there for your everything_.” 

He’s crying.

With his hands curled into fists by his sides, Mingyu is shaking and crying. He sobs the last part out, before using his hands to rub at his eyes. 

The scene - the confession, _no, admission_ makes him stand up so he’s in front of Mingyu. 

Gently, Wonwoo pulls Mingyu’s hands away and uses his own thumbs to swipe away the tears that seem endless.

“Fuck, this is so uncool of me, god.” Mingyu heaves out, voice cracking. 

As he pats Mingyu’s cheeks dry with the sleeve of his sweater, he mumbles, “never.”

It must be because it’s the first words he’s said in a while, because Mingyu starts crying again. 

“W-What was that?”

“I said you’re never uncool, Mingyu. You’re always cool.” Wonwoo repeats, louder. The truth is, he’d shout it if he could. Tell the world how amazing Mingyu is. 

How he manages to make him so, _so happy_. How he manages to push his negative thoughts out. How he gives Wonwoo the right amount of reassurance. 

“Is that so?” Mingyu asks, hiccuping. And then he’s smiling through the tears and Wonwoo scolds himself for even thinking about dampening his favourite sight in the universe. 

The smile with canines sticking out, where his cheeks glow because of how wide he’s grinning - Wonwoo loves it. 

“That’s right, Gyu.” Wonwoo swallows, reaching for Mingyu’s hand which has loosened from its grip. “I’m glad I didn’t run away that night. I’m glad you never gave up on me, even though it could’ve been so easy. I’m thankful for everything you’ve done for me.”

Mingyu takes his hand in his and Wonwoo intertwines their fingers. 

“I’ve never felt… like _this_ with another person before. Never let myself. Until you came along, forcing me to feel safe. Safer than I have ever been. Everytime we hang out, even for the simplest of reasons, it makes me incredibly happy.” 

Through his tears, Mingyu grins - illuminating the entire playground. Instead of the earlier giddiness that overrode his heart when he did that, Wonwoo suddenly feels guilt. 

Because even though he likes him just as much, it feels like they’re going too fast. Sure, he doesn’t have anything to compare their relationship with, but they haven’t known each other for a year. 

There is the possibility that Mingyu might leave.

But Wonwoo trusts Mingyu, he believes him. 

It’s just that he doesn’t believe in himself. 

“Hyung,” Mingyu’s soft voice cuts through the air, and Wonwoo snaps out of his thoughts for a second, looking up to face Mingyu. “You’re worried about something. Tell me?”

Has he always been this easy to read? 

“Only if you want to though! I want to help, but it’s up to you.” Mingyu hastily adds on when Wonwoo doesn’t respond. 

He thinks about it; would telling Mingyu of his fears put him at risk? No. And his feelings are relevant to Mingyu - he deserves to know.

Upon making the quick decision, Wonwoo mindlessly rubs circles on Mingyu’s hand with his thumb. The action causes Mingyu to squeeze his and smile, small. 

“It’s fine, you should know what I’m thinking about.” 

Truthfully, he feels so bad it makes him want to cry. 

Mingyu deserves someone better, someone who won’t hesitate to love him back and _show_ it. Yet he’s stuck with Wonwoo, who only _fears and fears_. 

“Do you think… we’re going too fast? It hasn’t even been a year, and even though the past few months have made me feel the most alive I’ve ever felt - I’m terrified.” Wonwoo exhales, squeezing his eyes shut immediately. 

The imminent disappointment on Mingyu’s face - Wonwoo doesn’t want to see it. 

Running away was always his favourite hobby, although it hasn’t happened much since he met Mingyu. He’s (almost) never run away from Mingyu. 

When he feels a cold brush of fingers against his cheeks, Wonwoo opens his eyes, slowly - as if doing it too fast will make Mingyu disappear into thin air. 

His hand hovers by his cheek, and Wonwoo is tempted to lean into Mingyu’s touch. 

“If it feels like we’re going too fast, that’s okay, hyung. You’re not going to disappoint me, you’ve never disappointed me.” Mingyu replies, finally making contact with his face by rubbing his thumb in circles against his cheek. “We can take our time, we have forever waiting for us.” 

“You want to be with me forever?” He quietly asks the moment the words leave Mingyu’s mouth and he flushes. That wasn’t supposed to happen. 

Mingyu grins, his cheeks bursting into a warm shade that probably mirrors his own. “Definitely.”

When he sounds so confident, _so sure_ of himself, Wonwoo doesn’t know what to do. There’s no space for any doubt in his heart when Mingyu says things like that. Like he’s making a promise - a vow. 

And Wonwoo has had many promises broken before, by other people. But when Mingyu does it, Wonwoo is certain that it won’t turn out like the rest. 

“I… I wouldn’t mind that, either.” Wonwoo admits, squeezing Mingyu’s hand. “I like it, the idea of spending forever together.”

Oh god. At first, he said he was afraid of going too fast and suddenly it feels like he’s proposing. 

“I mean-” Wonwoo feels his tongue get tied as he scurries to continue. “It might not happen, of course - we don’t know what the future is like, but it’d be nice… if you were there - in my future.”

He’s making it worse. 

Isn’t he leading Mingyu on at this point?

“Hyung, you’re gonna make me cry again.” Mingyu speaks up, as Wonwoo tries to find the words to tell Mingyu that there's no pressure, and that he’s sorry for being an idiot. 

Naturally, he stills and then he starts talking rapid fire. “You’re going to cry, oh fuck. I’m so sorry, Mingyu. I know I just said we’re going too fast, and all of a sudden I want to spend my life with you but I promise I do like you - it’s just that I don’t know if we can… _you know_ … yet.” 

His hand has slipped out of Mingyu’s hold and he’s gesturing wildly, he is aware but Wonwoo is quite possibly panicking at the idea of making things uncomfortable for his crush. Please let him live.

When he’s done with his speech - or rather panic word vomit, Mingyu grabs both his hands this time, and simply holds them. 

It’s a surprise he hasn’t walked away from Wonwoo, honestly. 

This is the first time he’s ever been on the giving end of a confession (was that even a confession?) and he’s not really doing the best job at it. 

People usually call him good with words. It is clearly not the case when he has to use language with Mingyu, however. 

“We don’t have to be boyfriends, not now.” Mingyu places their hands palm to palm, waiting. 

Wonwoo takes a minute to register what Mingyu wants him to do as he’s busy processing the word boyfriends. He’s freaking out over the word _boyfriends_. Why is he like this? 

After a moment, Wonwoo finally spreads his fingers and interlocks their hands together once more. Mingyu is so patient with him, Wonwoo might start crying too - for a different reason this time. 

Not because he’s upset, not anymore. But because Mingyu is everything. 

“How do you feel about going on dates? It’ll be like our regular hangouts, just with a different name. When the time is right, we can talk about it again and see how we feel then.” 

It takes every ounce of self control to not inform Mingyu that he’s already been calling their hangouts dates, albeit feeling guilty each time.

Still, he absorbs the idea, and infers that it’s almost like being boyfriends, without the life threatening commitment. It means Wonwoo has more time to think, has more time to convince himself Mingyu likes him.

He has more time to tell himself he won’t fuck it up. 

“Okay.” He nods, once to Mingyu, and another for himself. 

Mingyu tugs their hands inwards, towards him and Wonwoo stumbles from the sudden force of it. He doesn’t fall though, not with Mingyu’s arm around his waist.

“You-” Wonwoo grits his teeth.

“Me?” Mingyu questions, his mouth upturned in a grin, or a smirk - Wonwoo can’t tell. 

With how closely pressed together they are, looking up at Mingyu nearly gives him a heart attack. 

“You’re absolutely…” Wonwoo uses his free hand to clutch at Mingyu’s coat, for both emotional and physical support. “You’re a fucking dork.” 

His face falls and the grin (smirk?) is replaced by a pout. It’s adorable. 

In a fit of anger, Mingyu digs his hands into Wonwoo’s sides, and his knees buckle alongside the gasp that escapes without permission. On instinct, Mingyu tightens his grip, preventing any accident from happening. 

“Oh my god, you’re ticklish.” Mingyu’s voice is filled with nothing but _glee_ as he makes this discovery. 

Wonwoo let his guard down, he thinks bitterly. 

“And you’re still a dork.” 

Raising his brow, Mingyu teases the side of his waist once more and Wonwoo relents, putting his hand up in surrender. 

“I understand.” He says, unable to keep the smile off his face. 

Bumping their foreheads together, Mingyu smiles back and Wonwoo startles at the distance but doesn’t pull away. 

“You’ve made me the happiest person in the world tonight, Wonwoo hyung.” 

His heart flutters, and Wonwoo hums, accepting the butterflies in his tummy. 

“I should be saying that to you.” He mumbles, and it’s a shame that he’s feeling sleepy now, when all he wants to do is stare at Mingyu and stay in this moment forever. “Thank you, Mingyu.”

 _Thank you for waiting for me_. 

A hand makes its way to the back of his neck and Wonwoo makes a noise of confusion, until lips meet his forehead and his smile grows ten times in size. 

“Another New Year’s Kiss, Gyu?” 

Mingyu moves away from his face and giggles - it’s a sound Wonwoo never wants to stop hearing. “Nope, just a forehead kiss ‘cause I like you.”

Embarrassed, Wonwoo tries to hide his face and remembers his hand is trapped. So he makes do with second best, and presses against the space between Mingyu’s shoulder and neck. 

He feels Mingyu chuckle, before putting his chin on top of his head. It’s a comforting position, Wonwoo thinks. It’s warm, and feels nice.

Unfortunately, staying in the moment doesn’t seem that favourable anymore when a cold blast of wind breezes past, causing the both of them to shiver and Wonwoo to bury his face deeper, seeking Mingyu’s warmth. 

“We should go home, hyung.”

 _My home is with you_ , he wants to say. 

Instead, he lets out a noise of agreement, “Mhm.” 

“We can’t move like this, Wonwoo hyung.” Mingyu pats his back, and it ends up making him sleepier. “ _Hyung._ ”

With a sign, Wonwoo detaches himself, denying any accusations of sulking as Mingyu points out his pout. 

“I’m not pouting.” 

“You very much are, hyung.” 

“Shut up.” 

When they somehow end up outside Wonwoo’s door again, he deflates at the idea of making Mingyu walk back in the cold. 

And then he remembers. 

“Holy shit, we forgot to eat.” He gapes at the time on his phone and blinks rapidly, as if it’ll change the numbers on his screen. 

7:17pm.

A particularly loud grumble fills the air and Wonwoo pats his own stomach, wondering if it’s from him until he hears Mingyu chuckle, sheepishly. 

“Whoops?”

Immediately, he opens the door and drags Mingyu in, because they are not going back outside in that weather.

“I have ramyeon, we can make some.” He declares, turning around when he doesn’t hear Mingyu taking off his shoes.

Well, shit.

“S-Sorry, I didn’t even ask… Do you mind staying over? I know ramyeon isn’t the best dinner date but- I mean- let’s go back outside.” Wonwoo bites his bottom lip, scolding himself for being so ignorant of his surroundings. 

As he attempts to put on shoes again, Mingyu stops him. 

“Wonwoo hyung,” He whispers, soft. “There is nothing I would love more. It’s better here and more comfortable, of course I don’t mind. Let’s go in.” 

He takes off his shoes, and even helps Wonwoo step out of his own, with a gentle hold on his arm. 

Removing his coat and hoodie, and hanging it up like he owns the place, Mingyu rolls the sleeves of his dress shirt up and Wonwoo has to force himself to _not stare_ at his forearms. 

Wonwoo removes his coat as well, putting it next to Mingyu’s on the coat hanger and quite literally dies at the sight of it. 

The idea of living with Mingyu plagues his mind and he has to remind himself to go slow and steady, like he requested. 

When he walks into the kitchen after ensuring the heater is turned on, he dies again. 

Mingyu already has the packets out and the pot on the stove. He’s only been to his apartment a few times, yet it’s as if he lives here. 

“Hyung, pass me the eggs, I’ll add them in later.” 

Nodding, he moves to the fridge and takes two out, handing them to Mingyu who has his arm outstretched. 

At the last minute, he decides to put his own hand on Mingyu’s palm instead, for whatever reason - Wonwoo himself doesn’t even know. 

Surprised, Mingyu turns away from the pot for a second and his gaze softens _so much_ and he _smiles_ \- so sweet that Wonwoo forgets how to function. 

“I- I- The eggs.” Wonwoo removes his hand and quickly places the eggs into Mingyu’s palm before diving for the sofa in the living room. 

Today is the most embarrassing day of his life. 

“It was cute!” 

Groaning, he lets out a string of curses into a pillow and slowly walks back into the kitchen to be a more useful man once he’s ready.

Boiling a pot of water in the kettle, Wonwoo takes out the cacao powder he purchased previously and watches as Mingyu’s eyes light up. 

“Hot chocolate?”

“Yeah.” He murmurs, hoping Mingyu won’t sense that he’d bought it specifically for him.

He also prays to god that Mingyu doesn’t notice the puppy mug that wasn’t there the last time he visited. 

But of course, he does. 

“Hey, that mug is new.” Mingyu points out as he cracks an egg with one hand into the pot. “Is that a shiba inu?”

Huffing, Wonwoo follows the instructions on the box of cacao powder and shrugs. “Maybe.”

“It’s cute.” 

“Mhm.”

The conversation ends there, but the atmosphere remains safe, warm. It is nothing like the awkward and uncomfortable silence Wonwoo was accustomed to, years ago. 

This silence is something he appreciates. When they’re together, things get quiet at times but it never leaves Wonwoo feeling like he has to fill in the gaps. 

They continue doing their own thing as time passes. Wonwoo brings out the two mugs onto the coffee table, after deciding against setting them on the dining table. 

It’d be better if they sit and watch movies while eating. Although it’s hard to be awkward when he’s talking to Mingyu, or in his presence, Wonwoo isn’t going to risk that. 

As long as they have entertainment, there’ll be conversation. 

“Wonwoo hyung!” Mingyu calls from the kitchen as Wonwoo spends a minute shifting the mugs around for no reason. “Can you help bring this out?”

He steps a little harder on the floor as he walks towards the kitchen, just so Mingyu knows he’s on his way. 

Mingyu turns when Wonwoo stands behind him, holding a bowl of ramen. It smells amazing. 

“Careful, it’s hot.” He warns as Wonwoo nods, carefully holding it in his hands, telling his tremors to turn it down a notch for a second, please. 

The last thing he’d want would be to spill everything all over himself and the floor, in front of Mingyu. 

Thankfully, Wonwoo clears the stage of ‘walking with shaky ass hands’ to his living room and sighs as he places the bowl down. Assuming Mingyu won’t need his help anymore, he slumps against his sofa like he’s just ran a marathon. 

(In reality, he confessed to his crush, listened to said crush pour his heart out to him, nearly cried, watched said crush cry, hold hands with said crush, watch said crush cook them ramyeon, and _yeah_. It’s been a wild ride. He deserves the rest.)

“Hey,” He hears Mingyu whisper, so Wonwoo lifts his head from where it’s laying on the sofa and looks up. The sight that greets him is nothing short of spectacular - simply Mingyu with the goofiest grin on his face and starry eyes. 

Damn. 

“Let’s eat.”

Wonwoo uses a great amount of effort to pull himself up and Mingyu giggles at that. The sound registers in his heart quicker than it does in ears and he’s smiling too, because he made Mingyu happy.

“Thank you for the meal.” Wonwoo says, and Mingyu follows suite. 

For a good few minutes, the only noise in the apartment is slurping sounds. Mingyu doesn’t seem to mind however, having always been a person who enjoys his food abnormally well - a trait Wonwoo discovered pretty early on into their friendship. 

That peaceful state of sharing a moment in silence, with another person in his safe place, lasts up until the point where Mingyu swallows the last of his soup while Wonwoo is two thirds down his own meal. 

Staring at his bowl of noodles, he nearly speaks up about how slow he’s being and is about to apologize when Mingyu talks first. 

“Take your time hyung, I’m gonna wash my bowl first.” 

“Wait- But you cooked, I should be doing the dishes.” Embarrassingly, he trips over some words in his haste. 

Mingyu turns, grinning. “I never said I’d be washing everything else.”

He laughs. 

“Thanks, Gyu.”

With a noise of approval, Mingyu leaves him alone with his thoughts and ramyeon, while he does the dishes. 

Wonwoo brings his knees up to his chest, despite making it harder to eat for himself, he needs the feeling of comfort right now. 

Is it okay like this? He wonders. 

Are we okay like this?

Just as he’s about to fall into that headspace where the negative part of his mind threatens to take over, Mingyu reappears, adorning a softer smile this time. 

With Mingyu in front of him, Wonwoo’s thoughts which were previously fighting off baseless accusations and mean words get the upper hand because - how can he doubt himself when his greatest form of reassurance is right _here_. 

To his disappointment, he’d finished his noodles so he can’t stay with Mingyu for longer. Not that it takes years to wash the dishes because even he can do that too. 

Suddenly, it feels like Wonwoo can’t be away from Mingyu for more than a second and he flushes at his own selfishness. 

_Don’t be silly._

“I’m going to wash everything, you can pick a movie to watch.” Wonwoo gestures towards the remote, even though he doesn’t have to - since it’s not the first time they’ve sat by the television for hours straight. Mingyu knows his way around. 

Effortlessly, Mingyu drags the coffee table closer to the sofa and promptly sits down, crossing his legs. 

“‘Kay.”

Somehow, Wonwoo ends up with a wet patch on his shirt and he peeks out to see what Mingyu is up to, so he can decide whether it’s safe to creep into his room without being noticed. 

Unfortunately, the moment Wonwoo catches sight of Mingyu, he turns in that instant so they make eye contact.

“Hyung, I chose some- What happened to your shirt?” 

He sounds so amused, Wonwoo wants to scream. 

Trying to play it off as nothing major, he huffs. 

“Nothing, I’m gonna get changed. Do you want…” He trails off, once he realizes what he’s asking. 

Mingyu raises an eyebrow, the amused smile remains on his lips. 

“Do I want to borrow some clothes? Sure, if you don’t mind, Wonwoo hyung.”

Biting his lip, because _Mingyu’s gotten good at reading him_ , Wonwoo scurries off to his room. 

He picks out a loose shirt for himself, his favourite, and then some sweats before doing the same for Mingyu - though he has to take a bit more time to find an even bigger shirt. 

Eventually, Wonwoo secures the clothes and brings his dirty laundry out with him. 

Passing them to Mingyu, who’s busy on his phone, he gestures off somewhere behind him. “Here you go, the bathroom's where it always is.” 

“Thanks.” Mingyu nods, but stops in front of Wonwoo. 

Before he can ask what he’s doing, a hand cards through his hair for less than a second before the sensation disappears and Wonwoo can’t keep his mouth shut. 

The “cute,” he hears from behind him must be a product of his imagination too. 

Crashing into the sofa after dumping his worn clothes into the laundry basket, he scrolls through the various movies Mingyu had shortlisted.

The reviews seem promising enough, and the summaries do tug at Wonwoo’s heart strings, so he waits for Mingyu before starting the movie.

When Mingyu exits, he’s holding his folded clothes against his chest. 

“Where should I put these?”

His brain malfunctions for a split second, still trying to get over how endearing it is that Mingyu folded his dirty clothes. 

“Just- um, dump them in the laundry basket, I’ll wash them for you.” 

“Okay.” Mingyu doesn’t even need to be told where it is. 

When he settles on the spot next to him, on the sofa, it seems like the piece of furniture has shrunk. 

Mingyu is sitting closer to him than he has the past times he’s been over, and Wonwoo is fine with that. In fact, he scoots a bit more, which startles him so obviously that Wonwoo snorts. 

Clearing his throat, Mingyu leans forward to grab the remote and hits play without thinking twice.

“I knew you’d start with this.” 

“Oh really?”

“Gotta get the tears out of the way first, right?”

Well, at least they both know what’s in store for them. Soonyoung had watched it- _A Silent Voice_ first, and called him to cry in his ear for ten minutes straight. 

The movie starts, and Wonwoo chuckles as Mingyu shushes him, even though he hasn’t said a word. 

He laughs a bit too, until the opening scene plays and they fall silent. 

It’s safe to say that the amount of tears Wonwoo shed watching the movie could compare to the amount he cried on New Year’s Eve.

Instead of pointing it out though, Mingyu who had his face full of tears simply brought Wonwoo closer to him on the sofa and put his arm around him. 

Just like that, they stick together naturally for the rest of the night, with Wonwoo’s head on Mingyu’s shoulder. 

By the time it’s two in the morning, Wonwoo is struggling to keep his eyes open and Mingyu’s gentle rubs on his arm isn’t helping. 

He yawns for the nth time, having already lost count after midnight. Mingyu must catch him from the corner of his eye because he laughs softly, and Wonwoo feels the vibrations from it. 

The effect Mingyu has on him is calming. 

“Hyung, do you wanna go to bed now?” Mingyu whispers, quietly, into his hair and if Wonwoo’s brain wasn’t so fried, he’d have melted. 

But the idea of bed is too enticing, more so than getting flustered over his crush so he nods - hoping Mingyu sees it despite the room only being illuminated by the television screen.

Frankly, Wonwoo has long tuned out the voices from it and was enjoying Mingyu’s warmth, sleepily watching the way he’d react with every scene. 

It was amusing, seeing all the expressions he could make even though it was so late. 

Mingyu keeps a grip on Wonwoo’s shoulder as he leans forward so Wonwoo doesn’t end up tilting the other way while he switches off the TV. 

He smiles at Mingyu’s carefulness and Mingyu grins back when he turns to face Wonwoo again. 

They stumble to his bedroom and having brushed their teeth earlier (mid-movie too, because Mingyu wanted to be a little shit so they raced each other in the tiny bathroom before dashing back to the sofa so they wouldn’t miss everything), they fall right onto his bed. 

Wonwoo has never been so thankful for his parents before. They presented him with a queen sized bed for his (and Soonyoung’s) apartment, probably as an incentive for him to visit them. 

Of course, he accepted the bed and sent letters to his house in Changwon in place of his physical presence. 

Both of them crawl to the top like babies, too tired to put in effort and Wonwoo’s heart stutters in his chest. He’s going to sleep with Mingyu.

There’s a lot more he wants to think about, a lot more Wonwoo wants to freak out about, but seriously - his eyes are closing now that he’s on the soft bed so he chooses to discard those thoughts for another day. 

He feels fingers nearing his face and opens his eyes - with great effort, to see Mingyu getting blurrier and blurrier. 

Ah. 

“Thanks…” 

From what he can see, Mingyu smiles and he feels a hand on his head, patting him before turning to the side to place his glasses down. 

Having already curled into a fetal position, Wonwoo feels dreamland knocking him out until his head elevates. 

Mingyu put a pillow under his head for him. 

Unable to find the energy to use words, Wonwoo squints in the darkness and grabs Mingyu’s hand, lacing their fingers together. 

His hand, like the rest of him, burns hot like a furnace so Wonwoo instinctively shifts closer. 

An arm gets thrown around his waist and his mind is torn between screaming about it and going to sleep - for fuck’s sake, man. 

Either Mingyu can read minds, or he’s the same, because he chuckles and whispers, “Let’s sleep, hyung.” 

That sounds like a great plan. 

Humming, he lets himself relax into Mingyu’s hold and instantly, his eyelids grow heavier. 

It’s the best sleep he’s had in years. 

When he wakes up the next morning - with sunlight filtering in through his curtains, Wonwoo blinks once, twice before feeling his face heat up. 

They’re impossibly close to each other and even if he’d owned a single bed instead, they’d still fit. 

He wiggles around slowly, trying to gain some sense in his muscles when he’s met with resistance. 

Looking down, his lips stretch wide and he can’t even stop himself from smiling. 

Their hands had stayed intertwined the whole night.

Somewhere along the way, Mingyu had added a leg over Wonwoo’s body, trapping him. 

Bringing up his mental calendar, Wonwoo tries to recall what day it is, and whether he has places to be. 

After reminding himself it’s the weekend, he sighs and closes his eyes. Time to sleep in. 

(Wonwoo falls back asleep with Mingyu’s peaceful face and messy hair flashing through his mind. 

Later, Mingyu shows off the twenty pictures he’d taken of Wonwoo grinning in his sleep, hand gripping his, softly. 

Surprisingly, Wonwoo doesn’t ask him to delete them.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wonwoo crop top has been plauging my mind, how is everyone else?
> 
> on a more related note, thank you for 70+ kudos! that really means a lot to me, especially since this fic is still ongoing!! all the comments mean so much to me too, so thank you for everythng <3
> 
> hope everyone has a good day :D


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